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Totally fed up

X

Well, that says it all really. I've hit quite a low point in my PhD. I feel so demotivated and uninterested. I'm drained, and the same old same old every day is really getting me down. I think it's quite an amazing feat, staying interested in one topic for 3-4 years! How mad are we?! I'll be amazed if I make it through this bloody thing to be honest, the way I'm feeling.

O

O

Sorry to hear that Xeno. Is anything in particular going on or is it just the drain of the same old, same old?

M

hey xeno..which point are you at in your phd?? sorry to hear you feeling demotivated. ive found emotions during the whole process has been like a rollacoaster...some days up, some days down. any partic aspect you stuck on??

S

really sorry to hear that...what got you started in the first place...is there any new aspect of your subject you could work on to get your motivation back?
Don't give up!!

X

Thanks for the support guys. I think it's doing the same thing day in day out, along with the isolation of working at home, and just feeling like I have no idea where this is heading. I've actually hit quite a bad patch of apathy, and am finding it difficult to get motivated. Also, the struggling to survive financially, and not even being able to afford a haircut is getting me down. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I've actually romanticised working full-time where I'd have a routine and structure and the security of not having to worry about money. I think I've got too much time on my hands with the PhD, and I've ended up pondering and dwelling on things too much, so that's kicked off depression and worry. I just feel hopeless right now, like there's nothing to look forward to. (Sorry, don't mean to get anyone down)

O

Don't worry about making anyone feel bad, Xeno. What was it that my grandmother used to say, something like misery shared is misery halved, or the ever popular misery loves company. Those mean, to me, that you feel better if you can just unburden yourself on someone so that you do not feel so alone, and this forum seems to be a good place to do it. I know that it helps when reading or posting to know that you are not alone in the struggles, the emotional stresses and strains, and sometimes feeling like there is no one who relates.

O

And the set up of a PhD is almost a prescription for anxiety and depression--the long hours, the isolation, the lack of structure, the irregularity of results and feedback. Anyone would tell you that any combination of those elements make you at risk for depression and anxiety! The best solution for those are to not feel alone and isolated, and again, its far from the ideal solution, but to the extent that this forum can at least reduce some of that, use it. I know I go through up and down moments, and log on to the forum when I am well in need of a break from my work!

O

I don't know if this makes sense--if you can realise that some of your thinking might be guided by depression, the nothing to look forward to, the sort of hopelessness, etc.--that is classic depressive thinking. Knowing that your view of the world is being coloured to some extent by that might help you gain perspective that its not necessarily an accurate view of what is going on? Sometimes I have to walk myself backwards and say look, what you are thinking and feeling may not be the whole picture or even an accurate picture, you are distorting x y and z because you are tired, depressed, homesick, lonely, or whatever, and try to understand what is fuelling how I feel --which very often has very little to do with the PhD itself.

O

Telling someone to just get on with it or get over it is not helpful, because if it were that easy, well why, you would, wouldn't you? Can you join up with a social group or event of ANY sort? That might help ease some of the feelings at least in the short run. I know how hard it is to socialise when there is no money! But there are free things to do--I wanted in to see a specific church, and so I attended a service there! I struggle with the stress of being far from home, adjusting to a new country, etc, on top of a PhD and I can understand how sometimes it all feels like a bit too much!

O

I find music really helps my mood and my attitude towards work. Good music can make me feel really energised and work hard, and can lift my mood. Is there something like that which would help your study environment? The other thing, though this sounds trite, is the value of a good hard laugh. Can you get onto youtube and find some clip that makes you just roll with laughter? A good laugh releases some kind of chemical in your brain that is a mood lifter--sometimes if I am really stressing I try to find something to watch or listen to that I know will just make me laugh, and it helps!

P

Hi xeno! First i just apologize my english. I am new in this forum and english is not my mothertong. I started my phd 7 months ago and I had already many times the feeling that you describe: no money, lake of structure, feeling that nothing is happening, not knowing where this is leading... Insted of always looking what I should do or reach (and not reaching...), it helped me sometimes to look back and make a list of the positive things that I already achieved. there are a lot of small things that one sometimes forget. I also sometimes just look back how far I was 6 months ago and compare with now... that usually makes me feel good and encourage me to continue.

O

I think it cannot be overstated ( though I am probably at risk of doing so on this thread! ) of knowing yourself, your learning style, what environment you need, what rest you need, what supports you need. Then work to get those as much as you can. I know I have a very odd working style ( ENFP/ENTP--and if you don't like Myers Briggs, whatever works for you!) that gets the job done, just in a round about way and in bursts of energy. So I get to have breaks during the day when my brain has shut down, and I have stopped worrying about it. The overall result is what counts, and so far, so good! One of my favourite methodologists, Kathy Charmaz, says to treat research like play if you can, not as in taking it non seriously, but approach it with a creative and imaginiative mind set ( that may not work in all fields) and enjoy it!

O

Then too I think basic physiology plays into how you feel. Do you get enough sleep, a decent diet? Thinking this much burns a lot of carbs, carbs fuel the brain. So where before I avoided carbs, now I am a fan of healthy brown bread, brown rice, duram wheat pasta, and sometimes Doritos.

Thirst sometimes shows up as fatigue. Do you drink enough water or hydrating beverages? There are no water coolers in my university building, I have to go to the loo yukk and get water from the tap, which sounds disguisting but its the only way to get a glass of water! You MAY not be tired, you may be thirsty and in need of carbs.

X

Olivia, you have no idea just how much you have lifted me up today. Thank you so much for such positive feedback. It actually means alot to me. Everything you said resonates with me, and I'm definitely going to take on board what you've said about getting involved in some activities, evaluating my diet/routine, etc. I realised after reading your posts that I've not been taking the best care of myself. I drink no water at all during the day, and my diet is really bad. Also, I've been having very little contact with people, and have been feeling disconnected. Pamela, thanks for your encouragement too, very uplifting indeed. You guys have helped me alot, so give yourselves a great big pat on the back for that!

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