Congrats

Great movie, really enjoyed it. I went into the theater holding back on my expectations as much as possible (given the hype leading up). I was a 6 year old child when I first saw Star Wars Episode IV back in 1980. The magical experience that I (and millions of other kids) had watching that movie (especially the first mind-blowing 5 min) can't be duplicated as an adult. When Star Wars came out in 1977, no sci-fi movie was within daylight of the special effects, sounds and majestic space opera themes.

Supervisors are required by university policy (at least the ones I’ve attended) to give each of their students a minimum amount of contact hours each week. You would be well within your rights to make a formal complaint; especially given your supervisor has refused to read your thesis.
However, rather than file a complaint and risk putting your supervisor completely off-side, make a last-ditch effort to get some cooperation. First, explain to your supervisor that you will require their support over the next 18 months to complete your corrections. Start with an e-mail, and then follow up with a telephone call to request a meeting. If they still push back then you should consider a formal approach. Your student/postgrad union on campus may be a good place to ask for advice. Note that if you do make a formal complaint, it is likely that the first thing they will ask you is why you didn’t raise these issues earlier.

There is a big difference between the odd typo and typos every few sentences. There isn’t any excuse for the latter. It is the responsibility of the student to have their thesis proof-read it prior to submission. You will find that while typos by themselves won’t get you an R &R or a fail, there is a chance that a less benevolent examiner could become frustrated enough to recommend an R&R over major corrections for instance.

The number of professors who don't have a PhD probably have been in academia for decades - as has been pointed out by other posters.

Yes, it's possible to get a research assistant position without a PhD - assuming you aren't competing with the large number of unemployed PhD graduates for the job. It will be very difficult to move up to the next level (postdoc or junior lecturer) without the qualification and without first author papers.

There have been some well-reasoned responses in this thread that have (from where I’m sitting) answered your question. If you are here to seek positive reinforcement for your perception that a PhD is no impediment for a future senior academic role, then you have come to the wrong forum.

I did my PhD remotely (4000 km away from campus) for most of the time. However what I did and recommend is that you spend the first 3-6 months based at the campus full time. This is important if you want to establish a good working relationship with your supervisor and make contacts in the department. After that, you could visit the campus every 6-12 months for some ‘face time’ to catch up with everyone. In the meantime, Skype and e-mail are a perfectly good medium for keeping in touch with your supervisor.
Living and studying in the UK certainly eliminates the tyranny of distance. In Australia, a few hours’ drive might get you to the next village/town! I had to sit on a plane for 4 hours to get to my university.

Our system in Australia is a bit different, in that we don't usually have a viva. If you get R&R then you haven't passed until you get a pass grade from the re-examination. However in your case, it sounds like you are well on track to getting that pass. All you really need to say to prospective employers is that you have submitted your PhD and you are now working on corrections from your viva. That should be enough to convince them you have it in the bag. If they really need to know more, then tell them about the R&R, but mention that a second viva is not necessary.

Congrats. You have reached the top of the mountain, enjoy the view!

Check your university policy for doctoral degree examination. At my (Australian) institution, I had three examiners chosen by my thesis committee. I still don't know their names, even though my PhD has been conferred. I could have found out their names during the examination period, but I chose not to, because it didn't really matter anyway. Now I've finished I might enquire, just out of casual interest.

Unless you are doing a thesis by publication, which is a collection of journal papers. I know many people who did their PhD that way (in the ecological/biological sciences). If not, more detail in the thesis than a paper.

Congrats on passing with minor corrections TreeofLife!

I didn't have many typos in my thesis, but one examiner noted that I had misspelt 'conservation' as 'conversation' twice in one paragraph. A bit embarrassing.

Figure and table captions shouldn’t be mini abstracts. The purpose of a figure/table is to supplement what is being described in the text of the report/thesis/paper, not as a stand-alone source of information. A caption should outline exactly what is being shown and acknowledge the source if applicable (e.g. ‘adapted from Blogs et al. 2015’ or ‘data sourced from www.bom.gov.au’). I don’t think you need to mention the software used to produce an architectural drawing in a caption, in the same way you don’t mention that you used Excel or SigmaPlot to produce a graph. Normally CAD drawings have their own template where that sort of information can be shown.

It depends on the mental sophistication of the task. For simple tasks such as data entry and management you could sit there all day plugging away. With writing, you only have a limited time over which your brain can function optimally. If you are mentally tired it is not likely you will produce anything of value. The same goes for revising and editing in the latter stages of the PhD.