Just thought I'd give an update since I got some good advice here...

... I'm going to quit! I got a new job offer, and have spent the last few weeks thinking about what I want to do. There is still some small part of me who want to continue, but after discussing with my supervisors etc. I can't find enough support to go through with it, and quitting seems to be the best option. I just don't have the energy to continue. And right now it feels very, very good to say that this will soon be over.

Most of my (current and previous) female PhD-colleagues have had at least one baby during their PhD, including myself. It's not a problem at all, the flexibility of a PhD is great when having children.

Thank you for your honest advice, pm133. I went to a therapist and she basically said the same thing. There is no point for me to look for methods of avoiding procrastination as long as I dislike what I do so much.

I really needed to hear that.

Dotdottung: I've read your post. I'm sorry for what you're going through, you seem to've been under a lot of pressure. I think our situations are very different in that way - you ARE working a lot. You have been working non stop, long days. At least you can say to yourself that you are doing your very best! Appreciate that, and take of yourself.

Unfortunately I can't say the same about me. I'm not doing my best, and I'm not working nonstop. My problem is that I'm doing almost nothing, because it is soooo hard to get started on the tasks I really hate. When I work, I don't feel I'm doing proper research. I just feel it's a lot of nonsense, all of it.

Luckily, after I had my baby I've been very good at not thinking of work when at home. So I have many hours each day where I do things not related to my PhD. But as soon as I'm back at my office I feel like a lazy loser. I should just DO something, but it ends up with me staring at my screen, looking for other things to do than starting on those stata-commands again.

Thank you for your replies, it helps!

My supervisors are not worried about my progress, but they don't know how much time I'm wasting. Sup A believes I am doing work with sup B, and vice versa. I'm not in any research group, and that's why I feel so lonely. I have PhD-colleagues around me, but they work on completely different things (I am doing economics, while most students are within marketing or leadership). I need to be able to discuss my topic and methods with someone who understands at least a little bit, but that is not possible, so I feel uninspired and demotivated. I also feel so, so stupid when I see their progress, and hear them discussing things that are totally blank to me.


My uni does not offer any coaching etc. They have coaching for students, but PhD students are employees and therefore we are not included. After I started this thread I actually contacted a therapist, so I will see him in 2 weeks, but it is very expensive so it's not something I can afford often. I guess it will take time to change my way of thinking, and in the mean time, time is running by.

I know it is usual to feel like this. I spent some hours yesterday (yup, I'm a talent at procrastinating) reading this forum, and it was a relief to see so many posts with similar struggles as I am having. But I've felt like this for so long. I had a bad and "unlucky" start, so I was sick of it all even before I started the actual research.

The worst is that I truly believe that an academic position COULD be the right thing for me - but not with this PhD/within this field! I see so much clearer now what kind of research would have suited me better, but it is too late to change. That is probably why I don't quit. But in the same time, this PhD is only breaking me down.

I've completed 2 years of my PhD, 1 more left. I really don't know how to get forward with my work, I'm always feeling down, and I feel like the laziest, most useless person at this university.

Is there anyway to get past this? Is quitting the only option? I kind of wish I could quit, but I don't know what else to do (I need a job!), I don't want to disappoint my supervisors (who are clearly more optimistic than I am), and once upon a time I really dreamed of becoming a researcher, and gain more knowledge on the topics I find interesting. Initially, I thought I was the perfect candidate for a PhD. Obviously not.

The requirement for my PhD is 3 papers. One is under review (and has been for 6 months now...), one is under work (has been forever...) and the last one is not even planned.

So what are my issues?
- I am lonely. I hate working alone. I need to work with people.
- I find the work difficult AND boring. I work with Stata and all I do is write codes, day in, day out. The topic is just a big "whatever" for me.
- I struggle on getting anything done. I've been working on paper 2 for over a year now, I am still not ready to WRITE, all I do is analyses in Stata, and the results are poor, hence - more analyses and codes.
- Therefore, I don't understand how I can ever, ever finish approximately on time.
- I find things difficult, and therefore feel stupid because there are so many things I don't understand, or manage to understand by reading.

All this leads up to me sitting in my office, glaring at my screen, doing (almost) nothing because the work I am supposed to do is boring/difficult/meaningless.

Sorry for all the whining. But how do I break out of this vicious circle? I've had 12 months off because I had a baby, so obviously having a break is not the solution.