Hi everyone,
Thanks for all the good advice in your replies! As a few people have suggested it is possible that I am maybe being too hard on myself/stressing too much. I'm a worrier by nature and I was having one of those extreme stress-overload days when I posted and it felt like I was being pulled from all sides a bit... the problem is that those days tend to happen more often than I would think is normal. I am going to try to stop worrying so much about how much time is left and just work as hard as I can though. I feel like I need to get into a routine so that down-time can be worked into my schedule more easily and that will reduce conflict with friends etc. I am also thinking of asking my supervisor if I can take a week off to get organised and maybe rest a bit because I haven't taken any real time off in a long time and I think this is negatively impacting my overall productivity, as in even though I seem to be "working all the time" I'm still very slow to get anything done and my head feels like it's all over the place with stress and worry the majority of the time! I will also seek outside advice from someone experienced as tru suggested.

Thanks everyone!

We have an end of year panel review each year during the summer. I've had two good reports from my panel so far... all they wanted in the first one is a decent literature review, and they obviously expect more as the years go on- I honestly don't know how I slipped through the second one last summer. I know I have a massive dose of imposter syndrom to go along with all my other woes, but seriously I really didn't have ANYTHING done, apart from bits and pieces of experiments started and a few ideas for future work. My supervisor doesn't seem to think there is a huge problem. I have tried to voice my concerns that I'm worried about time but he said not to worry. That was a few months ago though, and I've since had to push back a Christmas deadline because my simulations are still not working! I think he is going to start worrying soon if he hasn't already...

With regards the boyfriend's mother... she doesn't seem to see any value in what my research is on, and has "joked" (read:snide remark) about how anybody would pay someone to do research in my area. I know a joke is a joke but to me it wasn't funny because a) it's actually my livelihood right now! b) It's possibly my future career c) The last thing a phd student needs to hear is somebody devaluing their research, we have enough existential crises as it is!

Continued....my non-academic friends don't see the phd as a real job, so when I say I can't hang out with them becasue I have to work they don't believe I actually have to work. They think I can take as many days off as I want and if they do accept my excuse, they actually get kind of mad at me and I get a slight silent treatment. It's extremely frustrating because I have a few different friend groups, so at the moment I'm getting it from all sides!

At the same time, my boyfriends family are complaining because I don't visit them enough even though he has tried time and time again to explain to them what a phd entails and why it isn't possible for me. They don't respect the phd, and his mother has even made fun of what I do on numerous occasions... not exactly what a suffering phd student wants to hear when they take time out of their busy schedule to spend time with them.

I can't take any more of people giving me grief every time I decide I want to put the head down and concentrate solely on my studies, it's not fair and I don't know what to do.

The only people who do seem to understand and give me the space I need are my own parents, funnily enough seeing as people usually complain that their own families are unsupportive.

Does anybody else have any of these problems? Lets all vent together.
Advice on whether you guys think I actually have enough time to finish my phd would also be helpful, because that's the worry that is at the root of all the pressure.

Thanks

Hey everyone,

I'm new to the forum, but I've been lurking on and off for the past few years. Usually i find comfort reading advice given to others, so thanks for that!Today however, I'm so wound up that I need to vent and maybe hear some advice from you all first hand...

I'm just over halfway through a fulltime 4 year phd in UK, and I'm panicking big time and it seems that not only does nobody understand what I'm going through, but that they're hell bent on making things harder for me.

I still don't have any publishable results, although I'm working on my first paper while trying my hardest to get my results from my simulations done within the next month. I'm not going to lie... I completely wasted my first year and I'm paying for it now. I didn't have any idea what I was supposed to be doing everyday for the first 6-12 months, and found myself jumping from one thing to the other and not getting anywhere with anything... it was a disaster! So the second year was spent doing what should have been done in first year: getting a better handle on my topic, reading more, developing the method I planned on using and starting to implement that method. If only I could go back in time, but I can't and I'm terrified I've ruined it now.

So here I am, freaking out that I'm going to fail in 2 years time. Of course, that fear gives me motivation to work harder and get the project moving. But unfortunately I can't seem to get on and stay on a roll, and the issue seems to be other peoples expectations from me. I've suffered from depression many years ago, so I know the signs of when it's starting to come back and I have to say all this pressure, stress and worry is causing it to come back, strongly...