Last week my wonderful grandad died of a heart attack. It was very sudden and unexpected. I miss him so much. I actually lived with my grandparents for a while when I was younger and to be honest it feels like losing a parent. As we're a small family (only my mum and I to help sort out affairs for my nana) I have been trying to manage his paperwork, ringing round etc.

I've been off work for just under a fortnight, they have been very good. But I know I'm going to have to go back soon and I just can't envisage it at all. The slightest kindness shown to me makes me cry. His funeral is next week, I have to lead a tutorial a couple of days afterwards and a senior professor wants to observe me. I really don't feel ready for that. I wondered how anyone else has coped following a bereavement?

Sorry to hear of your loss.

With regards to your tutorial.. perhaps if you explained to the professor your situation, perhaps the tutorial could be posponed?

so sorry for you! i'm sending you a great big hug.

maybe going back to work is not that bad. it will give you some time off from mourning, some distraction. maybe you should grant yourself not to be perfect for the coming weeks. just do what is required, everybody will understand that you're not at your best.

my father nearly died a while ago. i know it is not the same, but it was very hard for me, too, to go back to "normal" after spending all that time in hospital, away from home, afraid of the worst and hoping for the best. but i did find that once i got over the first day back at work, it was actually quite good to have something steady. it was also good to speak to my office colleagues who were very sympathetic but obviously less emotionally involved, so provided a different angle to things. i hated being away from my family though. we really bonded in that crisis and i missed that feeling of togetherness when i had to leave for my own home.

hey kronkodile
how are you doing?

Thank you for your reponses

Tricky, I managed to postpone the tutorial until today and have just done it - I think it went OK, but felt wobbly this morning as it was the first day I've been back. Grandad's funeral was on Tuesday and it really was a beautiful service. I felt fragile yesterday, but went to a lecture (I'm studying a part time course alongside my job) which took my mind off it slightly.

Shani, thank you, and I'm sorry to hear about your loss too. You are right about feeling better for having some structure in my life, but at the same time I feel "disrespectful" for continuing as normal. I feel so very empty. I totally get what you mean about not wanting to leave my family too, they are local, but it is literally only me, my mum, and my Nana.

One of the things I (perhaps naively) hadn't anticipated was how anxious I'd feel. It's hard enough dealing with the loss and sadness, but I have felt incredibly stressed too. Things like dealing with the paperwork and trying to support my mum and Nana, whilst having the odd disagreement with my mum as well, have been so incredibly stressful. I feel so tired and wasted.

I am trying to get afew things done at work today, I may go home earlier though.

Thank you for your kind thoughts.x

Hi krokodile,

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, hopefully things are starting to get better by now...