My supervisor left for Australia whilst I was on fieldwork. Now I am back in the country, moved from Brum to Bath and haven't touched my PhD for months. I am bored, scared and lost. She promised to keep in touch, but she hasn't commented on my latest paper. I seem to have forgotten what my PhD is all about as I am trying to earn some money and look after my 7 year-old. On a daily basis I feel like I am losing my mind and feel very depressed when I think about the amount of money I spent funding my PhD and the fieldwork notes rotting away in the airing cupboard. Worst of all, we're in a new place and I don't know anybody except my husband and my son. Everybody I know seems to talk about children all the time and it is like, I have a son and his life is structuring my boredom but I don't have to talk about him all the time.

Sounds like you desperately need a new supervisor and some regular deadlines. I have a 3 yr-old, work from home and rarely see my supervisor. I did get very lost and fed up in the middle years - but feel much better now I'm writing up and can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Contact your head of dept directly and explain that you must have a UK-based supervisor. Is there a conference presentation that you could work towards as an interim goal?

There may also be some kind of student-parents group at the university that you could contact to find more like-minded souls. It can be a bit of a no-man's land - neither working with colleagues nor a full-time mum.

I agree (as usual!) with Smilodon! I would be in exactly the same situation (except I don't live in Bath!) if it wasn't for my great supervisor pestering me to do things ;-)

That's a helpful advise smilondon but u see, I took a year out from Brum coz I found out through a PhD friend that her main supervisor, who is also my co-supervisor, used her fieldwork data and published a journal article without acknowledging my friend. I am very shocked by that but it was one of my reason to take a year out. I attended a conference in Singapore in December and am still awaiting comments from my old supervisor about revising my paper for publication. Am also in the process of transferring my PhD to Bath Uni just to finish it but on a daily basis, I am hanging by the thread. Doing a phd is already isolating and not to have news - even a bad one- is just killing my brain.

Ok Regi,
How long since ur Prof has kept in touch with u last? How important is this paper that u r writting?? Is this to publish urgently?? And do u have a second supervisor whom u can contact? If yes, please do so.... If u think u cant wait for any more time, please contact ur head of the department so that he can get ur Prof to do his job.
I can sort of understand ur situation, new place, strange people and ur supervisor is kinda 'missing'.. must be very stressful. But, just hang in there... u will get used to the new place and as time passes by stangers will turn into friends... and u will be more motivated to work. Till then try and get how much ever work u can do without any guidance....
Gud luck!!!

I really appreciate your support guys because I am really drowning and there are not many people I can turn to. I googled 'bored, lonely, and lost PhD student' and stumbled into this forum and it is comforting to know that I can do a bit of legitimate moaning. Our last supervision email was in August and this paper I presented has been tentatively accepted by ISEAS for publication with Sojourn, it requires some revision but it has now been two months and no news from my supervisor. I know she is officially not attached to Brum anymore but she promised to keep in touch. Am I expecting too much? ;-)

ur last e-mail was almost half a year ago...... and u r still waiting????? y??????? either u r very positive person or u trust her a lot and r waiting for her reply.... Trust me.... I dont think that ur supervisor will give u a feedback... sorry to be so blunt,!!! but i just want u to move on ... and see wat else u can do.... maybe just get this paper published alll by urself.....

I disagree. If a supervisor doesn't give feedback she's not doing herjob properly. You may be optimistic just waiting for a reply though. Have you tried chasing her up much? Most supervisors need reminding of their students' existance, especially if they don't see them often...

It doesn't sound as though this women is still your supervisor at all - is her continuing 'supervision' official or unofficial? Either way - you need a new sup asap. Try to deal with your paper and revisions following feedback from the journal.

I am afraid you are quite right Hazyjane because I feel that there's unfinished business between me and my supervisor. I can't help feeling that she should at least comment on my conference paper even just for the last time. I want her to rip my paper so hard that I can see where my weaknesses are. I sound like a sadist but we need that for the viva, no? I didn't get enough feedback at the conference in December because discussion time was limited. I emailed her 2 months ago but in all fairness I understand about moving and children and she must have tons of things to do in her new job environment. But I don't want to keep on rambling on irrelevant stuff, words are too precious to waste and every sentence must be meaningful, I am sure every PhD student knows what it feels like to get rid of 'cluttering words'.

You know, she gave me assurances that she will continue to support me unofficially. I know that is a considerable committment to make but I just need some structure as to what I'm doing. Once I am officially registered at the new uni, I shall have a new supervisor (i don't know how long is the bureaucracy is gonna take), but it is the daily emptiness that is really killing me. I don't know who to turn to when I am in serious need of advise for my paper which is more than 13,000 words long and in need of substantial trimmings.

I think you can definitely write this lady off as far as supervision is concerned. Editing 13,000 words is a lot to do as an unofficial supervisor. While you are waiting for your new supervisor to be made official, could you explain to your new head of dept that you need feedback on a paper and have someone there take a look at it?

Man I just feel crap, I had to wear sunglasses to send my boy to school coz I've been crying all night. I looked odd in the midst of cheerful and chirping mothers and I dread going to the school ground with my eyes still swollen to pick himg up. How funny is that, eh?

This can all be sorted out - it justs needs time. You are in a difficult in between phase. But you WILL get a new supervisor - and I do think you should ask your head of dept if you can get some interim feedback. The new uni should also have a student counselling service which I thoroughly recommend you make use of. Try to look forwards and not backward.