Ok I didn't go to this particular conference that has accepted my paper; I wanted to cite the paper but can I site it as a paper that has been published (in a proceeding)?

Have the conference proceedings actually been published yet? I wouldn't formally cite it without checking that your abstract is in there.

HI Dan, Did anyone from your research team go to present the findings? Having an abstract accepted is not the same as being published in the proceedings - e.g. I had an abstract accepted but I haven't got the funds to go to the conference so I can't claim to be in the proceedings.