Hello everyone,
I am a first-year PhD student, and I started my PhD in October. I started with a PhD proposal and due to many disagreements with my previous supervisor on the proposal after my arrival to the UK, we decided to change the topic. She said my proposal is "easy and anyone can do it!" Accepting to change the project at that time was a mistake! The first semester was wasted working on topics related to my previous supervisor's area of interest, but by the end of the semester in December, I was fed up with her perspectives, personality and with imposing her ideas on me. I decided to change the supervisor, and I would never regret that. In January, I decided to go back to working on my own proposal. I started working with a new supervisor, who is open-minded and who said that the proposal is strong! By coincidence in the end of February, I came across a PhD thesis which was submitted last semester and is very similar to my PhD research questions and objectives. I decided to be honest with my new supervisor about it. She asked me to write a new proposal, and she left it totally to me to choose what I want to do. Since then, I have researched different topics and found myself interested in different areas. One of them is somehow related to my first proposal but am still confused about how I can do it (methodology, theoretical framework, etc.). The other ideas I have are totally different from my first proposal, and I conducted a pilot study about one of them. When I review the literature, I wonder whether my different ideas are really original or not! I can hardly maintain my interest in one of them and commit to it. I feel lost. I started my PhD six months ago but have not really made any real progress so far! I have to start a project in April. What should I do? How can I choose one of the topics I am interested in?

The second part:

Sometimes I think I got over the disappointment, but other times I feel it is my mistake since I accepted to make a change to my original proposal and it is me who should bear all the consequences. I am in my twenties so I am mature enough and I should have insisted on the "no answer" instead of accepting to change the proposal. It was a mistake. I still feel guilty in a way or another especially that 4 months of my PhD were wasted. Honestly, what still messes up my thoughts is her repeated words "you are wrong". I have many ideas now and I carried a pilot study for one of them. I sometimes feel excited about all of them. Other times I have this voice inside me saying "what if I am wrong now! I could be wrong"!! My new supervisor asked me to write a new proposal and send it by the 6th April, so we will not have any discussions until the proposal is sent. I have many interests, but sometimes the desire to carry out something different from others work hampers me. When I review the literature, I feel "everything is done! We know all the answers! Will I just end up with a different case study and new evidence"! Is that all what I want! I always find the answer "no"! I do not want to repeat the same things others said! To some extent, I feel down by not making any real progress although I do not show that to my new supervisor and I always try to sound as much confident as possible. Last time I told her that reading lots of articles about different topics is progress by itself since the PhD is a journey to help me learn! Inside me, I know this is not enough because I will be judged on the work I produce not on the reading, and some students who started in January made more progress than me! I am usually confident, but this time I am not sure! I am frightened that I could be wrong and that my first supervisor was probably right! How can I be sure that I am not wrong? And that I am not going to waste three years of my life doing the wrong thing?!

Hi there,

I am a little confused. Where does the "you are wrong" come from? What context?

I could be wrong, but reading between the lines, it sounds like you are worried about not doing what you are capable of/have potential to do/something interesting enough. The problem is, you can spend a lot of time dithering and trying to find the cool thing that you could do (I speak from experience), when actually, if you just get going on something somewhat interesting, you can build on it and make it more original and interesting as you get into it. The main thing is to get collecting data asap (it easier later if you started earlier...), you will probably tweak your hypotheses and develop your ideas more as you go along.

I changed supervisor too - and know what a difference this can make! It is so good to have a supervisor who isn't constraining or having a negative effect on one's attitude and work. I am also a mature student (older than you if that's any consolation), and yet I too wonder why I didn't speak up sooner about issues I was having with my first supervisor and also just take control a lot sooner. I think it is because although we have life experience and are confident people, there is this idea that academia is a different ball game, and we don't quite know the rules and had better not go against things just in case (I didn't want to lose my funding!). In hindsight though of course, it is always better to be assertive and speak up - no matter what the arena. Don't beat yourself up about it! We live, we learn.

Back to your proposal. Have you asked your new supervisor for her thoughts on your ideas?

Tudor

Also, it may be worth adding - after your PhD you will have more opportunities to do research. The PhD project isn't the end of your research life, but just the beginning, if research is the path you continue on : )