Involved with postdoc

Q

======= Date Modified 21 Feb 2011 19:44:36 =======
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G

It was sound advice. Move labs.

A

Yes, move labs. It's clear that everybody knows or strongly suspects. When people are attracted to each other, the body language is very hard to hide and can make other people feel awkward. If you move labs, you'll both be able to concentrate on your work but can still see each other out of work (although if the post-doc has any kind of supervisory role, that could be an issue). Hope things work out for you.

J

it takes a lot to do this, but if i were you, i'd try and concentrate and stay in the same lab. moving labs just confirms to your supervisor that you can't handle a love life and your research. instead of being 'love struck', why don't you work on impressing her with your good progress. that should motivate you. try to stay away from each other in the lab - each doing your own thing?

B

Yeah I would move labs. Its just a shame that it has to be after your supervisor recommended it. Meet this person for lunch!

I

think of the big picture, quick

H

I agree, move labs, it would be better in the long run.

A

A PhD student geting sex, who would have thought....

B

When I did my first degree (BSc), I only saw my gf at weekends. In retrospect this was perfect, I got loads of work done in the week, and had fantastic weekends to look forward to. I don't think I would have done as well if she was around all the time.

Create lots of space for yourself, its the best advice I can give you!

V

seperate your work and personal life. Do work and keep your hands away from her when in lab and leave other pleasures for evenings/nights together.

4

quick, I think what Ann pointed out is the most important thing in this situation. "Does she have any supervisory role in your research..." In my opinion, if she has nothing to do with your research, what you do is nobody else's business. It sounds like early days, so it's normal to have that electricity, and it's not a bad thing. It might be a fling, or it might be a bigger thing. You can work this out in time. But if she is part of your research team, then it's a different situation, so your supervisor would have every right to stick his nose in it.

S

I agree with Jojo and 404. If you move you will show that you are not professional enough to combine your emotions with your research. You will also be confirming this opinion that there is something inappropriate about your relationship

A

Hiya Sixkitten (how are you? Nice to see you back on the forum )

I think you (and others) have a point but there are other factors to consider, especially if the postdoc does have an advisory/supervisory role to play. Certainly it is the policy of the institution where I work that a person cannot be line-managed by their 'spouse'. To me, moving labs (if only for a short time during this intense phase of the relationship) shows that you are committed to your research and prepared to create the best working environment for yourself and your colleagues. There is nothing to be ashamed of in the relationship between the people in question (assuming both are single and adults!) but I don't think moving labs suggests that there is. They could still meet up at lunch and for breaks etc? Just hope it works out well for them one way or the other

4

where are you quick? Tell us if this person is in your supervisory team or not.

Q

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