Is this normal?!

E

Hi everyone! I just started a PhD a couple of months ago, and I was wondering if you seasoned PhDers could give me some advice on this one. I'm feeling completely out of my depth at the moment, and have been panicking about doing well, so much so that I'm starting to actually feel sick. My confidence is really low. Everything I write just sounds so elementary. In the times that I'm not working on the PhD, I sit there stressing about it, and getting myself wound up. I'm so worried about impressing my supervisor, that I actually dread my next meeting with him when I feel I haven't produced substantial results. Has anyone else gone through this? If so, I'd really like to hear about your experiences and how you pulled through. I'm sorry to sound like I'm moaning!

R

these are completely normal feelings. i think a lot of poeple feel out of their depth for most of their PhD. Remember becoming an expert in a field does not happen over night. if you are feeling particulalry stresses out at this stage, it does help if you are doing some kind of extra curricular to help take your mind of your work

S

Hi eddi, i think everyone on this forum will agree that this is perfectly normal. every single PhD student in the world goes through this...including your supervisor, once. the very start of a PhD is a very tough time, intellectually and emotionally. Believe me, you will get through it, it just takes time...and unfortunatley, there is no way to speed up time! One day you will start to see how much you have advanced as a student. Until then, just remember that it is OK to not know what you are doing, everyone around you understands and no one is judging you as harshly as you may think.

D

Hi Eddi, I went through (still go through!) this. My supervisor said to me one day 'For God's sake remember this is only a PhD, you're not going for the Nobel prize! Just remember that, it helped me to get it all in perspective

E

Thank you for your kind words guys. It can be difficult to talk about these feelings to people who aren't doing/haven't done a PhD. Cheers for the support!

I

eddi, I too only started recently and I feel like this every other day. I'm sure it is normal in some respects, but I don't know to what extent. I feel like I am in everyday, and working for most of it but despite this I'm not entirely sure what I have done after three months, certainly nothing concrete. It scares me.

B

LMAO - I am really sorry Eddie but I just burst out laughing when I read your post. I am two months into my PhD and I have been feeling the same way and I know the other PhD student in my office (started the same time as me) also feels like this!!! In fact, having thought how great one of my suprvisors was, he always seemed strained to see me, so I convinced myself it was become I was so utterly appalling that he was regretting ever taking me on and wanted rid and when he didn't respond to my emails I was convinced he was gearing up to sack me! (He wasn't - just suffering from a huge workload....). Don't worry - I think we all have crises of faith during the PhD - be more worried if you think you are perfect

O

I remember when I finished my first chapter, I was so overwhelmed and burnt out that I could do NOTHING for several weeks. All the wind went out of my sails. I usually had let down after finishing a chapter--it was hard to get back on track when I was done, so I just learnt to expect that and take a few days off, and then get back to a fresh start on the next thing.

The other thing is study environment. I will go mad cooped up in an office, especialy one that is shared, for 8 hours or more a day. I like to study and work listening to music, and where there is a buzz of noise...the local coffee shop is great. Its good at home where I can listen to music, and take breaks. I have an attention span/energy level of about 2-3 hours when I am fully engaged with the work, and then I need a good long break, and can get back to work for another 2-3 hour span..if I am not working too hard ( i.e. editing or something) I can work much longer at a stretch.

E

-so nice to get your feedback guys. I've heard from quite a few PhD students that they wasted alot of time in their first year, and I am certainly feeling that! You just don't know how far along you should be, and there's no gauge, because everyone's experiences are so different. It's so nice to hear from you all, very reassuring.

E

Hi eddi (and everyone)

I am new to posting on these forums, although I have been lurking for a while.

I am a final year undergraduate and I have been offered a studentship at the uni I am at to start next October - very exciting

Anyway, in light of this thread I was wondering if anyone has any advice on how to deal with or avoid the feelings that eddi is describing? I understand that in any new job there is an element of anxiety (certainly when I have had new jobs in the past I have experienced this) but I think that there are some aspects that are specific to the PhD student experience.

Any thoughts would be useful.

Best of luck guys...

ejc x

S

take it easy, dont press yourself too much

O

Congrats ejc, that is fantastic!

I think that just taking a deep breath, knowing that it is a long process and you will sometimes go two steps forward, one step back, as that is LEARNING and just take it in manageable bites---day at a time, week at a time, chapter at a time...you have to build your OWN rewards into the work to stay motivated, and it helps me to have my own milestones ( chapter complete on time HOORAY go and buy a new DVD or have a night out with friends, take the weekend off, whatever..)

Up until now I have been trying to manage my professional job with PhD study, which has been hard, and to be frank, what it made me feel like that the time on the PhD was a luxury, hard fought for and important and precious--compared to WORK the PhD was not!

S

Hi ejc. Congrats on the studentship! I can remember being in your postition: seeing all these posts on this forum and thinking, "how can i avoid falling into the same trap as everyone else???" You've definately got the right attitude, in that it is important to learn from other people's mistakes to avoid making the same ones, but i think going through the early phase of your PhD like eddie has decribed is a necessary part of becoming a researcher. It is unavoidable. it's kind of like basic training when you join the army (bare with me...), they wear you down completely to see how much you drive you have left to keep going. Going through what eddie has decribed is, unfortuneately, the only way to learn self-reliance and self-motivation: both necessary skills for a researcher. That's not supposed to sound negative (sorry if it does!), quite the oppossite. Good luck!

E

Thanks olivia and Sim
It is certainly an exciting time for me - and both of you have offered some very sensible advice.
I need to focus on my undergraduate degree for the time being, but I will be back on this forum if all goes to plan
It's nice to have some voices showing enthusiasm, some of my peers on my course raise an eyebrow when I get excited about what I will be working on.
ejc x

B

We At the beginning of a PhD, you cannot work so well because you haven´t read enough, you haven´t discussed enought, you haven´t received input from your supervisor and other collegues, so IT IS NORMAL!!!
I remember the last year of my PhD I was just writing like crazy all my ideas and intepretation of my results. I was so happy because everything was flowing so easily. But it is natural, as I had the knowledge and the methodology at that moment. Be patient.

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