As Jocko was asking in another Topic at which age you started I wondered how many of you guys are married.

Me (27), I'm not married and I going to ruin my relationship in order to start my PhD studies in the US.

So anyone married? And when?

copycat, do you already live in the US or will you be moving there for your PhD?

'Life - in the end - is about families, kids (if you want them), relationships'

In 'your' opinion about2defend. Not everyone see's it that way. Your situation may be influencing your judgement somewhat?

None taken about2defend. If anything I was overly blunt.

@all: thanks for your comments
@H: I'm planning to move there
@about2defend:
yeah, I'm male. You're serious about the 5 to 7 years? I thought I'd be back in Europa after 4 years.

I've found these posts interesting because I've been thinking about the work/family/life balance issue recently. I'm 26 and would really like to have children but its difficult to know how it would affect my career. I'm finishing PhD and work as a full time lecturer - on probation for 3 years before my contract is made permanent! So ideally I would wait until after that, and then there is the issue of publications (getting enough to have more job security!). But then when I go home and see my cousins / friends my age or younger with children I think maybe I am putting too much emphasis on this PhD and career thing. Sigh.

I sympathise with females in the academic world, it cannot be easy with choices when it comes to children. Marriage is certainly something that would equally affect both partners, but the children part is not as disruptive for males.

I do want children, and my attitude is- if an employer expects my work to be the highest priority, then they can think again. I would rather do irregular agency work, or work in a completely unrelated area, where the wages are far worse than feel that family isn't an option. I rate happiness above career.

@about2defend
Thank you, I really appreciate your advice. I looked it up myself at the university I'd already contacted (Atlanta, Georgia). Of course you were completely right. I think completing it in less than 5 years is really an illusion

Well, I guess I got to work this out on my own...
but thanks for your remarks and the link!

I always thought private sector would be better for having kids. I'm doing work experience at well-known large pharmaceutical company now and there are loads of women here that have extremely flexible hours that allow them to fit in with their children.
If you get married after you get your PhD are you still Dr. [maiden name] or does it change to your married name?

PhD/Marriage/Kids...Can all three live in harmony. I am a married postgrad who wants kids as soon as I finish this. But I do worry that if I plan like that I will have less chance of doing well in academia world. Its a real dilema and since my husband adores kids and want to start a family after I finish..its just too much to think sometimes. However, he is really supportive right now want me to finish it within 3 years. I dont know if I can...but I want to finish it in 3 years to 3.5 more then anything in the world.Is this realistic?

haha, thats what shes studying.... you two know each other...?

Thanks about2defend. Good Luck with the viva and let us know how you got on? Re: my studies, unfortunately I m in social sciences and it looks like 4 years is the limit. But hey! where there is a will, there is a way. I think now I sound hyper optimistic..oh well, at least I m not moody today

about2defend would be devastated

It really does depend on where you work, I have worked for some dreadful companies where I wouldn't have risked bringing up the possibility of maternity. I think with the larger companies, they tend to have a more developed policy, certainly one company I worked for had clear work/life balance policies. I would always look at these before taking up a job. As for marriage, I'm still trying to decide on the Phd, but my husband has been my mental sanity whilst doing a degree; it can work, it can be really stressful, but a relationship forces you to maintain perspective.

Has anyone actually got married during their PhD?