my girlfriend decided that she needs to be "more obsessive about her PhD" and left me a couple of days ago...

oh annie, so sorry to hear that. sending you lots of virtual hugs.

get over it, no time for gf, study m8

Ouch! Sorry about that. However, i can't help but think that for her to have made that decision, she must have felt that having you around would not help her concentrate. Were you not giving her the space she requires to do her work (just asking)?

I understand where your question is coming from - but no, that wasn't really the issue at hand,I'm doing a PhD myself and we were seeing each other once a week or so - besides,I offered to her that until she is finished iwth the write-up I would adjust to her needs. The thing is, she has decided that there is no space for a relationship in her life at the moment.

Well, there isn't much one can do in that instance other than to respect her wishes. My advice would be to concentrate on yours as well, you'll definitely meet someone else or even get together again once its all over.

Best wishes.

No advice, just sending cyber-support. You're not the first; remember that when you feel down. At least it ended on good terms.

I mentioned in another recent thread that high-achieving individuals sometimes have trouble maintaining relationships with other high-achieving individuals. When it does work out it usually involves compromise, sacrifice, mutual agreement, patience, amongst other things.

Maturity and life experience also helps a great deal.

oh, rogue academic, you spell it right out. sometimes i wonder how it is possible at all. especially these days, when everything including relationships seems to be about self-fulfilment.

Cryogenics, Rogue Academic: are you
1) blokes
2) studying something other than the humanities/social sciences??

Apologies in advance for any offence (really I don't mean to cause any) and if I've got the stereotypying completely wrong! I understand that your words are meant in the kindest possible way but do you think that AnnieG might be better served by our support, understanding and sympathy rather than by advice and analysis?

Sending you cyber hugs AnnieG!

Krashty - you are correct in the first, and wrong in the second.

I'm sure AnnieG will receive lots of support and encouragement from many on the forum and elsewhere. Sometimes it is also beneficial to hear words that are already apparent to yourself and others albeit subconsciously (or not), to bring the issues to the fore. And that's why we're all here, variety (in contructive/supportive responses you will receive) is the spice of life.

Krashty, you're right in both 1 and 2.

I do sympathise with AnnieG's current situation and AnnieG would undoubtedly get all the support that is needed on this forum but I do agree with what RogueAcademic has pointed out.

By the way, no offence taken

oh crap. I think I misread krashty's second question. By saying krashty is wrong am I saying I AM in the humanities/social sciences field?

Just a difference of perspective. Maybe I'm getting old (or reverting to hippy status) but I feel that love, support and kindness without the analysis have their place (e.g. in the current situation) but I'm sure others would disagree and appreciate the analysis! Maybe I'm just thinking about my own personal life where I would detest any kind of post-mortem or analysis (mostly because it proabbly wouldn't highlight me in a positive light)!
PS: yes Rogue Academic by saying I was wrong you were saying you are doing humanities/social sciences.

d'oh.. ok you were right on both counts then.