Hi everyone,

I don't even know what I really want to say, so this post may well be one long rambling rant. I'm doing one of these 1+3 PhDs, and in the "1" part, so strictly speaking I'm doing a masters, even though, to all intents and purposes, I'm part of the uni as a PhD student. I'm about halfway through the year, in my second of three lab rotations, and I'm finding it all very interesting, as I've always wanted to be a scientist (I work in biomedical stuff).

But...

I feel like I'm completely overdoing it with the work. I'm actually at work from 9.15 until about 6/6.30 every day. In addition, I usually work at home until 11 two or three weekdays a week, and usually work Sunday afternoon and evening too. I don't find that doing lab work bothers me at all, and I keep it all in proportion. Also, it's easy to leave that kind of thing at work, because I can't do lab work at home! However, the reading side of things is really getting me down. I can never stop reading, as I always worry about missing something vital, so every time I read a paper, I have to read three or four more which it references. This spirals out of control, so instead of reading 20-30 papers for a lab project, I read 80. I feel like this isn't really science like I'm meant to be doing. One of my supervisors said that he'd rather a student did an extra experiment every so often rather than reading too much, but I worry so much about missing things and getting poor marks. The masters is graded (distinction/pass/fail), and while I'm doing fine at the moment, I'm an obsessive perfectionist - I've always got As, got a first in my degree, and I'm scared of not getting a distinction in my masters. This is driving me to ridiculous levels of working, and it's really getting me down.

I went home for a week over Easter, and spent almost all my time there working, and not I've had one day back, I feel really in need of time off, which I won't get now until September. I'm not about to give up or anything, but this is really getting me down and ruling my life, and part of this post is just saying this, but part, I guess, is hoping that someone can offer some advice. I've had mental health "issues" in the past, and while these are well controlled at the moment, it's really important that I don't risk a relapse, and my current working pattern isn't helping really.

Can anyone offer advice/a slap around the face?

:-(

PS - How do I change my username? I'm not worried about this or previous posts being recognised, but just for future reference, just in case...

Hey 4matt! It's a tough world, this researching stuff. First off, I did an MSc before my PhD and I think that it was actually more stressful than my PhD has been so far. Not to say that the PhD doesn't have its very stressful moments (and many of them), but I think for me the MSc was an even steeper learning curve than the PhD! Is your MSc purely research or is it part taught as well? Mine was half and half and it was tough balancing a substantial research project with lectures, coursework, exams etc, and it was a really hectic year. So in a way, you might be hitting the toughest bit right now. I'm not promising it will get easier, but things might even out a little more yet!

The hours you describe sound long, but I think quite similar to what some of us on here are working. The reading side is difficult, I have a huge pile of papers I want to read as whenever I see something that looks interesting, I just print it off. Needless to say, the pile never gets read, it just gets bigger and bigger and gives way to something more urgent every time. It is important to prioritise your reading. You are not expected to read absolutely everything in your field, and it's tempting to try to, but you will always come across some paper you've never seen before and think, how have I missed this? You will never get to the end of the reading, so you really need to get into the habit of reading the stuff that's necessary, and scan the paper first to see whether you need to read it or whether you can get the gist from the abstract and just skip to the interesting bits. It's tough, but it's the only way to survive! And review papers are always quite handy if you need to be familiar with certain literature but don't have the time to scour for papers and read through every single one of them. And you have to take time off to enjoy yourself now and again or else you will go crazy! I had no time off over my MSc but I find with the PhD that sometimes there are points where it seems more natural to take a few days off before starting on something new etc, and it is important to try to do that.

I was also a bit of a perfectionist- as you describe, A's, then a first, disctinction etc, and so scared all the time of letting myself down. And one of the best things about the PhD for me is that there are no grades! It is truly a relief for the first time in years to not have to worry about whether I'm going to get the top grade or not. Of course, there are other ways that you are judged, but I find the PhD more forgiving in that if you make a mistake, you are given the chance to correct it and to improve your work, you are not stuck with a grade that will be on your record for life! There's still pressure, but for me anyway it's a diffferent kind of pressure, and a type that I find easier to manage. Of course, everyone's different!

And you're right, you need to find a way of working where you can stay sane. I have to be very careful with my routine as it is quite easy to knock myself off balance with my bipolar disorder, and it takes a while to find a way of working that works for you, but you will find it with a bit of experimentation. But don't burn yourself out, you're better to take a bit of time off sooner and have a break rather than driving yourself to the point of breakdown and needing far longer off to recover (not to mention feeling really crappy to boot). But the PhD is a long slog, not a sprint, so try to pace yourself and be nice to yourself too.

Best wishes, KB

This does sound as though you're reading too much, and if you don't adapt to reading more the essential things you may find the work-load hard to manage long term, as the PhD kicks in, and the stress levels rise. You will also increasingly need to juggle both research and ongoing reading.

Your supervisor sounds concerned, and I agree with their perspective. Why are you reading the extra papers? Are you worried you will miss something that they cover? No-one is going to expect you to cover the literature in such great depth, even for a PhD.

I took the opposite approach in my Masters. I'm long-term seriously ill, with very few good hours a week, so I focused on the essential things, and learned not to worry about all the rest. I managed a part-time Masters (over 2 years) at typically just 5 hours a week. And I got a distinction. So it is possible to get a very good pass, at a much lower workload. And I went on to a part-time PhD, again on a small number of hours a week, and I've recently passed my viva.

Is there a student advisor you could speak to at your university to discuss your working hours? They are really really long. I'm very worried if you keep that rate up throughout the PhD.

Good luck!

Hi there. I have just got onto a 1+3 degree at Warwick and from what I heard at the open day the Masters year of this sort of degree is really tough so I am not surprised you are up to your eyeballs in work. The 1+3 degrees all appear to be at universities who also get the top grade students so you will feel you are surrounded by geniuses and need to keep up.

Like you I tend to the obsessional side for wanting high marks however this can cause burnout and the danger you are focusing so much on perfection that you are letting stress interfer with your ability to study.
Do you highlight? Read the core papers - skim read to get paper gist - have a break -reread highlight the relevant features - go away - go back next day quickly reread highlighted key points - go away - think if you really need further depth on this paper - go back and read reference papers in similar manner but only if really essential otherwise reread highlights again. You must give yourself time to go away and digest your understanding of the paper - then you may find you do not need more information from other papers.

Breaks: for effective study you MUST have an evening off a week. Your productivity is actually slower if you study constantly than if you take regular breaks and the odd time off. Go out, see a movie, visit family, go to pub. Like a sportsman the muscles need to rest for ability to improve and your brain is the same, it needs time to rest and transfer the learnt stuff from the short term memory into the long term memory.

You also need to get a grip of the whole distinction thing. I understand this cos I get huffy when I get marks under 90%. Will the world end if you fail? No. Will the world end if you don't get a distinction? No. Will the world end if you are not the best student on your course? No. You mention you've had mental issues in the past so you know how bad life can really be - bad exam results etc are nothing like the awfulness that mental illness brings - you do not want to go back to that. You deserve better. Yes you want good grades but you must think of the other part of you that needs a social life. You deserve to enjoy your masters - you do not deserve to be ill again. Maybe you are the best and if you are then you will get there in the end / maybe you are not the best then so what we can't all be Einstein get over it. 'Work hard' needs a bit of 'play' too.

;-)

I wouldn't worry too much about being 'recognised' either. You are a hard working student - this is good! You have mentioned your mental health but this is nothing to be ashamed off and is very common in high achievers. View your past as an 'it happened so what' and while it can take others a little getting used to they also soon accept to view it as 'so what'. (I am very open to people about my previous depression and OCD - people do get used to the idea).

My Supervisor recently marked one of my chapters which i thought was full of useful information. But you know what? actually none of it was really relevant and i had to discard it, but i didnt realise that because i was so afraid that i needed to have alot of information. So just remember that, after all your hard work and wasted hours reading so many things that u think are important, you may not even use them.

I'm eating smarties .. yummy :p

Thanks for all your replies so far...

Keenbean - I definitely get what you're saying about the PhD being ungraded. I'm really looking forward to being able to do some good work for its own sake, rather than specifically to get a certain mark.

BilboBaggins - Wow, it certainly sounds like you did well! But are you speaking with the benefit of hindsight, or were you totally sure that you'd be ok with your workload even while you were doing your masters?

Waddett - yeah, my department is internationally renowned in its field, although I don't really see the point of doing a PhD at somewhere which isn't doing at least nationally recognised work. Your suggestions all make perfect sense, but it's a bit like eating broccoli - you know you should do it, but you don't.

Amanda - I've had this happen in the past. However, I would far rather do too much, be told this, and have to delete, than not do enough. I'm not just afraid of getting poor marks - in a way, I'm more afraid of people thinking I'm lazy/can't be bothered/time waster/not good enough etc.

I'm not speaking with the benefit of hindsight. I was totally sure I'd be fine before starting, based on my experience of juggling a part-time OU degree. And then once the Masters started I knew I was fine too because: (1) I was obviously reading enough to be able to take part in a very active way in the taught seminar sessions each week; and (2) we had assessed work throughout my Masters, and I got very high marks (contributing ultimately along with my research project to my final distinction) from the word go.