PhD and OCD

J

Hi everyone,

I was wondering whether anybody has any experience of doing a PhD whilst at the same time suffering with OCD? I am in my second year and have suffered with OCD for many years, although it has been much milder in recent years. I find it makes me constantly stressed about where I am at with the project and whether I am making good progress. My supervisors are starting to think I am a paranoid mess constantly wanting reassurance. Does anyone have any advice of how to find out if I am where I need to be from somewhere other than them? I am feeling really bad about it all at the minute and the thing with OCD is one thing can spark of obsessions and compulsions I haven't had for years. I am starting to think this PhD is not worth a total relapse to where I used to be which was not a nice place to be. I am not sure if this forum is the right place to be posting this but just feeling terrible today about it all.

Thanks

Jenny

K

Hey Jenny! There are quite a few of us on this forum struggling with mental health problems whilst trying to do a PhD, and it can make a tough job even harder. I personally am struggling with bipolar disorder and have just also been diagnosed with PTSD which is making my life a bit tough right now. Although I don't know if anyone on the forum has OCD, I have a friend doing a PhD and she suffers really badly with it, but she is just about coping with the PhD. I know she has found it helpful to go to the uni counselling service, and she also sees a CPN and has recently gone back on medication which has helped to ease things a little. I don't know if you have tried any of these things? I think it would be a real shame to quit the PhD because you have obviously worked hard and coped with the OCD well enough to get to where you are now. Do your sups know about the OCD? If not, it might be worth letting them know- I have always been completely open with my sup about my health issues so she understands if I'm struggling a bit. It might be worth speaking to your PhD chairperson if you want some sort of idea of where you are up to without asking your sup's. I don't see mine often, but last time I saw her she was really reassuring and told me I was doing fine and running on time etc, so it might be worth noting down all the work you have completed and speaking to him/her. One thing I wouldn't so is compare yourself to other students, because everyone has their own pace and it's easy to think that people are further ahead than you when actually they are just doing things in a different order or something. I would def make sure you are getting maximum support with your OCD too, and maybe go back to your doctor for some more advice. Meanwhile, chin up girl :) KB

D

Hi Jenny,

Doing a PhD evokes extreme feelings of anxiety in most of us at some points and, I think, OCD is rooted in anxiety and so I can understand your concern. Unfortunately, PhD's are very individual things and progress or otherwise can be affected by many, many things and so I think it would be very difficult for anyone to comment on your progress, apart from your supervisors. The reality is only you and your supervisors probably understand your project at this stage. Please try to be guided by them. They, like you, will be wanting progress and they'll probably not let things slip or not let them slip badly. Could I suggest you make an appointment with your GP and the counselling service at your University as they should be able to help you manage your anxiety better.



T

I suffer of depression and yes it affects my PhD negatively and vice versa my PhD affects my depression negatively.
Nevertheless I guess that if and when I will manage to finish it, I will feel like having accomplished something and I might get a psychological benefit from completion. I am too far in it to think to quit now.
Abandoning a PhD should be carefully thought through. It depends on the stage at which you are and how bad it feels. You have many options before quitting: getting therapy, CBT could help with OCD, getting medication or both. You could also take a suspension on health grounds if you think that it could help you to restore your energy and getting over the bad patch. Write me in pvt if you like.
Good luck!
(up)

D

Hi Jenny,

I have bulimia and depression and for the past 2 and a half years I have been struggling to do my PhD.  Not only am i a weak candidate I really can't get it wrote up as my writing is very poor. I have been thinking the same as you since I started.  I am due to finish in Oct when my funding runs out and after that I have responsibilities and bills to pay with no income. However, I WILL COMPLETE THIS.  Then I will worry and sort my health out. I know I cant fight my eating disorder while doing my PhD because all my effort and strength is going into my PhD.

Finish it, keep going and don't worry about the stage you are at, everything will work out in the end.  For instance I know I am going to be stacking shelves come Oct but as long as the PhD gets finished some time I can cope with it. I have stopped worrying about getting reassurance from supervisors or other people, just believe that you will finish it.

Don't think this is much help to you but thought I would share my experiences.

Keep sane and well x 

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