I'm struggling to get accepted as a PhD student because of my Research paper. Most of the time I get the feed back that my research isn't sufficient enough for a PhD material. Can anyone give my research topic a read and give me some feedback please? I'm based in UK, London. I have BA(Hons) and MA from Kingston University.
Here is a link to my proposal :
Full disclosure I only read up until the beginning of the literature review:
1. Your grammar is ok, but sentence structure could use some work. Its not easy to follow and in places you are too informal with your language. For example use the term "players" when referring to major firms in the industry. In the UK, academics prefer a bit more crisp language in serious work, otherwise it comes of sounding like a blog post. Trust me, as someone who is heavily influences by North American culture and enthusiasm, I have learned to adopt the "correct tone" in academic work.
2. Many of your claims, statistics, assertions and statements lack citations. You had one citation in the first 8 paragraphs. That will not cut it. EVERY empirical statement about the design industry that you make MUST be referenced by some supporting source, otherwise that is just your opinions I am reading. You content as it is, is too subjective.
3. I am doing a social-science PhD and to be frank, the recession is done with.
Your research topic is as follows "How global recession is changing the current design practitioners towards creative freelancers?" That should be past tense, as I think you would be hard pressed to demonstrate that the recession is still ongoing. You may want to re-conceptualise your question to "How the global recession HAS CHANGED etc." past tense.
If that is the case, why is it important? Why should people care? Helping graduates make more informed decisions is not that compelling (to me). Why is it important to observe this shift in business model from big firm to free lancer? Are you not just giving a historical account in the end? What larger theories can benefit from this investigation? Your rationale needs firming up or you need to re-frame your questions so your results have more of an impact factor.
To be continued....
4. Topic is too broad. You do not specify which market you are looking at, and the global design market is WAYYYY too big to cover in 1 PhD. Reformulate
5. You took 8 paragraphs to to get to your research question. That was very difficult to read. Get straight to the point and THEN justify why, how, and what you will be examining. The way it is laid out now, it makes for painful reading (I am not being rude, just frank, no sense if being vague). Consider having someone you trust academically proof read it for clarity. That is a MUST. If not pay to have it proof read and edited. Its worth it if you are serious about a PhD. Have an old mentor or professor read it. Something.
6. Yeah that's it. But think long and hard about the problem you are trying to solve, and then reformulate your question. In the end, I am not sure your research is worth studying, and if it is, you should be able to make a convincing case for it in in a reply here in one paragraph. I hope this was somewhat helpful, and I look forward to that paragraph.
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