Please help

R

Hi there,
I am PhD student at the end of my first year. I have a very weird relation with supervisor, he thinks everybody is happy about him and his behaviour, however, we all are fed up. he is prepared in his field and well recognized, but he looks like living in another reality. A lot of people had problems with him, because of his psychopathic behaviour, most have also complained about him, even people outside the lab, who have nothing to do with him profesionally. I have been affected as well by his behaviour and a lot of times I thought I was not good enough to do a Phd, however, as student who has worked very hard to get here, I never thought to quit my PhD. I don't know what would happen to me, to my future, when I complain about him, like other did, included students and staff. I have taken anti depressants and really did a lot of counselling to cope with this since the beginning of my course, but I now I felel very lost and hopeless, no matter how many drugs I am taking. I have been told to have severe depression and I was hospitalised for 10 days. I am very scared. How is the University dealing with such problems? What are my options and possible consequences of a complaint?Will anyone take serious decision about him and my future as a student?

:-(

K

Hi Ruth! You have my sympathy- I can really relate to your post. My supervisor, although she has some strong points, can also be extremely difficult and previous PhD students have complained about her behaviour. She is also well known throughout the whole department as being very rude, nasty, and arrogant at times. Whilst I actually had a reasonable relationship with her for the first 2 years of my PhD, over the last year things have deteriorated to the point where I have now taken a position at a different university to get away from her. Fortunately I have finished my PhD. I also suffer from severe depression at times (bipolar disorder) and have been hospitalised many times, and her behaviour over the last few months has really affected me quite negatively in this regard.

In terms of the university dealing with your ill health- I have found my department to be extremely supportive throughout periods of illness. In terms of complaining about your supervisor, however, this could be very tricky. The two PhD students in the same team as me who complained did not finish their PhDs. One was thrown out and one left, and their complaints were just brushed under the carpet, even though loads of people know what a nasty piece of work she can be. At the end of the day she gets grants in and churns publications out, and presumably for this reason alone she is pretty much untouchable. I decided not to put in a formal complaint about her, mainly because I'm too worried about needing references etc in the future, but also because I know it wouldn't get me anywhere anyway. Perhaps that's a wimps way out.

Is there anyone you can approach informally to talk about this? Perhaps your PhD chairperson? Do you have a second supervisor who you could rely on and have less contact with your first sup? I think a formal complaint could damage your relationship further, probably to the point that it becomes irreparable. Of course the uni should take it seriously, but in my experience, they don't always do that. At the same time, you've still got two more years to get through, and if it's causing you serious distress and ill-heath then it's just not worth it. If my relationship with my sup had been as bad as it is now at the beginning, I'm not sure I would have seen my PhD through. I think the best option might be to explore alternative supervision arrangements, but it's a very tricky situation. Would this be possible?

Best, KB

R

Hi Keenbean,
I am sorry about what you have gone through, but I am glad at the end turned out fine.
thanks for your answer, it is very wise. I am scared of my future exactly because i don't know how a complaint will affect my relation with my supervisor. I always thought it was going to make things worse, and of course I am scared of a possible letter of recommendation which he has to write for me when/if I will finish and also of possible publications which might derive from my work.

I don't really have anyone to talk to. i have a feeling I can't trust anyone, included my supervisor's team...they all are friends and collegues. i don't think anyone will take my side.

How can i cope with this for other 2 years?
I am just scared i won't hold for longer and i wonder if i am taking his behaviour too personally or maybe i am not ready for a PhD and all the stress that comes from/with it...

But thanks a lot for your answer...it was very useful!

D

I decided not to put in a formal complaint about her, mainly because I'm too worried about needing references etc in the future, but also because I know it wouldn't get me anywhere anyway. Perhaps that's a wimps way out.


KB, You took the best path, trust me on that. Had you tried to do otherwise it would have harmed you more, would not have helped others and things would have carried on. You were not a wimp but realistically assesssed the situation, knew the most likely outcome and did the only thing you could do.

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