My supervisor is badmouthing me front of her colleagues and it's really disturbing me.
She's even blamed me for not coming to supervision where as a meter a fact, we normally do it via skype. She even CCd the secondary supervisor that I haven't come to any meetings whatsoever throughout the term! The ridiculous thing here, I was helping the supervisor with her other project (which is unrelated to my work at all), so that's why we didn't have any meetings together with the secondary supervisor.
I've raised the matter with the secondary supervisor and according to him, the first supervisor is busy so that's why she's behaving like that.
It seems from here that he's more interested to protect her well being (theirs?) instead of mine.
Help. What should I do? : (
you need to evaluate whether this relationship is going to work. Not all supervisors are good supervisors...fact. So if you don't anticipate things changing, be candid with the research director or whoever has the responsibility of managing phd research quality at your school. Ask either for the 2nd supervisor to become your 1st supervisor, or ask for a substitute. There's nothing worse than an unsupportive/bad supervisor to ruin your chances of doing well.
I don't want to sound negative, but in my experience, if your sups are friends - and even if they are not- they are going to stick together and support each other.This does not meant that you cannot do anything about it. It depends on how far into your research project you are. If you are at the beginning you have the choice to change supervisor. Otherwise you can re-define your reciprocal expectations. However, I would avoid situations where you speak to one and then to the other, as this might create more trouble -people like that are very good at twisting words for their own convenience. You don't know what is behind this behavior. I would follow terrybagel advice, but I would try to organize a meeting with both first and see what they say. I would keep things professional and avoid anything that might create problems. I wouldn't be surprised if their wonderful friendship would vanish when you finish your PhD...
As mentioned earlier, we should seek first to understand, then to be understood.
There are a few things we do not know about worldaround...
1. Which year is worldaround in?
2. There is nothing wrong for first supervisor to ask for meeting in her office. From the viewpoint of supervisor, it may seem strange why meetings have been through Skype.
3. Actually, secondary supervisor could be correct to say that first supervisor is busy, and thus behaving like that. Supervisors also have their stress nowadays over funding, publications, admin...
So, worldaround could also let us know if the supervisor has been "misbehaved" for months or years.
My main point is don't over-react. It could get worse!
In fact, from now on, i feel that there should be meeting with both supervisors for the moment.
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