Why am I torturing myself?
OK, stupid question, I know! But I will explain.
I had an email from my supervisor the day before yesterday, saying that I should do A, B and C during the following months. Anyone would understand that I had at least a month for these tasks. BUT not me!!!! I panicked! I haven't slept since then and I have been working constantly (with a break to go to my full-time job)!!!
The result was good, as I managed to finish the tasks, but my reaction (panic) make me feel so stupid and tired, by the way!
Grrrrrrr:-s:-(
Maybe its because you feel unless you feel stressed you aren't doing proper work - this is not true! Once you can tell yourself that then you can let your troubles go, like water washing over pebbles in a stream. Yes - I am doped up to the eyeballs on painkillers - yes I'm crazy
You might want to take a look at another thread which relates to 'Failed PhD - Any Advice?' You will read about a litany of academics causing significant problems for students in reserach. You've learned useful techniques and know something about how to write up results at this point. Please take a look at this thread and be shocked at the closed mindedness of universities towards students when it suits their own political agenda. If you genuinely feel that you can't go on...then don't, why hurt yourself? The PhD doesn't define you as a person, its a part of who you are, you're a hard worker and obviously clever.
You might want to take a look at another thread which relates to 'Failed PhD - Any Advice?' You will read about a litany of academics causing significant problems for students in reserach. You've learned useful techniques and know something about how to write up results at this point. Please take a look at this thread and be shocked at the closed mindedness of universities towards students when it suits their own political agenda. If you genuinely feel that you can't go on...then don't, why hurt yourself? The PhD doesn't define you as a person, its a part of who you are, you're a hard worker and obviously clever.
Thanks AC, but I don't have any problems with my supervisors. In fact they are both great.
I've net even ever thought of quitting. I live my PhD, it's just that I get panicked and I think that I have to finish everything at once.....
I'll try to fix that, because it's not good for me and it affects my non-PhD job, as well (I work with children with special needs and it is a difficult field that needs a lot of energy)
Hi Emmanki,
I think AC might have accidentedly posted that post here as it came up in another thread too. However, part of what they said seems to apply here- the PhD does not define you as a person. It is a piece of work, a project, which needs to be carefully managed and organized to ensure you have enough energy to complete it. It's great that you have such motivation and passion but, as you know, trying to cram all your work into one day is not going to benefit the project.
Next time you set yourself a task, perhaps sit down with your diary and split it into a number of mini-tasks which can be spread out over a reasonable time frame. Completing those tasks every day will give you the knowledge and satisfaction that you are (steadily!) working towards your goal. Then go home and relax! Give your mind time to recover. There is evidence that suggests our brains 'work out' problems whilst we're seemingly switched off.
But, most importantly, the PhD is not you! The PhD is, when it comes down to it, so many pieces of paper. The world will continue spinning whatever happens.
Awesome thread. I really relate. My supervisor once asked me to do X, Y and Z. This had to be done after Q, P, R & S. They also commented on A, B, and C, and wanted this done before X, Y, and Z. They obviously didn't have a clue as I couldn't do Y without first doing B and C. What's more, Z was the pre-requisite for finishing Q and P! Terrible really -- it's a hard life being a phd student.
Awesome thread. I really relate. My supervisor once asked me to do X, Y and Z. This had to be done after Q, P, R & S. They also commented on A, B, and C, and wanted this done before X, Y, and Z. They obviously didn't have a clue as I couldn't do Y without first doing B and C. What's more, Z was the pre-requisite for finishing Q and P! Terrible really -- it's a hard life being a phd student.
How can it be hard with such a high IQ????
It makes me wonder....
