Signup date: 12 Jul 2006 at 9:56am
Last login: 19 Apr 2010 at 1:40pm
Post count: 1766
RogueA - most institutions allow consensual relationships between students and staff as long as they are openly declared in order to ensure there is no conflict of interest e.g. the academic marking their partner's work. It is not considered professional misconduct (ill-advised maybe, but even the universities - unlike yourself - accept such relationships)
There is nothing high school about it. I was in exactly the same situation. I once had a crush on my undergrad lecturer...and we've been very happily married for several years now. You can't help your feelings, but, unfortunately, you're right in that you are in a situation where you have to be extremely careful. It is not just your PhD, but BOTH your academic reputations, at stake. Unless you fall out of love with this guy I don't think you can ignore how you feel (I don't think you want to either), but you can just not do anything about it until you are finished with the PhD. I know that is easier said than done (yes I really know!), but it isn't worth the risk no matter how strongly you feel about him.
Each Uni will have a policy, but it may be that it depends on the company involved. Talk to your supervisor, but your institution should have a contracts office (who deal with legal contracts for research and commercial projects) who will be able to advise you.
I would write up notes of everything agreed at the supervision meeting and e-mail them to your first supervisor after every session - that way you have IN WRITING what you have discussed and your supervisor cannot turn around and say they dispute/have forgotten it
I think there is an element whereby you 'stop caring' as much the closer you get to the deadline and it becomes more about the need to complete than to reach your absolute maximum potential. I don't necessarily see that as a bad thing. I know someone who didn't complete because she really was a perfectionist and couldn't hand in something she wasn't entirely happy with - unfortunately that meant she spent all those years working and never got the qualification as she never submitted.
You describe my situation exactly! I started the Masters a few years after finishing my undergrad and had to support myself financially. Like you, I was more concerned with the qualification than the mark and cared more about learning. I didn't get much out my undergrad degree, where I was concerned about marks, and I was determined to do it for the 'experience'. But because of that I actually did extremely well and got a high distinction and an award from the department. So now, whereas I used to be focused on research because I enjoyed it, I now feel so much pressure and expectation that I'm going to produce something amazing and fantastic and that, if I write something that is just 'ok', I'll let myself and everyone else down.
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