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starsgoblue
Wednesday, 10 November 2010 at 1:12pm
Thursday, 5 January 2017 at 10:30am
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Thread: Final stages... lost all motivation, crippled with failure feelings.

posted
18-Aug-13, 14:33
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posted about 7 years ago
Hi, all. Long-time lurker on this board and really at my wits end right now so thought I'd post.

I'm just coming up to the end of my three-year funded phd, in English Literature, in the UK. So far, I've coped pretty well with everything in the past 3 years - have been optimistic, driven etc. Have already got two peer-reviewed pubs, a forthcoming book chapter, have organised (and won funding for) two conferences, done lots of presentations both at home and abroad...

However, had a meeting with my supervisor and while I had aimed to submit the finished thesis before Xmas, she thinks it could be as late as April-time before I am realistically ready to submit. Pragmatically, I know that she is right. In my mind I know a lot of the reasons for late submission spans back from my original supervisor being on sick leave for the first semester of my phd and then leaving mid-way through my 2nd year. Really it has only been the last few months where I've felt "ready" to write.

I have gone through my fair share of "no-one cares.. why should I" emotions. My funding runs out in Sept but I've found a freelance writing job that pays well with minimal hours to get me through the late months.

However, I can't seem to get over the mind-numbing feelings of FAILURE that I will be submitting late. I've always felt like an imposter throughout the phd process (having a difficult differentiation at the end of Year 1 still haunts me). You see read about phd people finishing up on time on Twitter etc and it just kills all motivation in me whatsoever. I'm in an abyss of self-loathing, about my self and my project.

- How bad is it to finish the phd in 3.5/even 4 years?
- How can I jig myself up?
- Is it worth it? Really?

Thread: What did you do during first few months of PhD?

posted
10-Nov-10, 13:26
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posted about 10 years ago
Hi guys, I'm new here.. just started my PhD this year too. I've spent the first while basically doing what has been documented here. Getting to know the University; ensuring I'm up-to-date with all administrative requirements; meeting my supervisor every 2-3 weeks; attending research seminar, research methods classes. I went and viewed some relevant archives as well, which was really informative. Also, as I've been out of education for three years, it did take me a good while to get back into the 'study zone' and I don't know if I actually am there 100% yet but I am getting better with every week I think!

We have a 100 day viva at our institution so come January I have to give a presentation, literature review (and I would aim to have a chapter done or at least seriously in the works) which is a good way of motivating me. There are also a few conferences and calls for academic journal papers bubbling in the background so - lots to do1
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