What to do?

A

Hi all,

I am desperate to do a PhD, it's what I originally planned to do upon leaving university 5 years ago but circumstances changed somewhat and went into teaching.

I know exactly what I'd like to do and who the supervisor would be. However, he only has PhDs on offer that require self-funding. I really don't know how I'd fund this, I only have £1,000 in savings and to be honest I live in my overdraft and have done since I started work (ironically)...FE teaching really isn't well paid!

I thought about a career development loan but some of the repayment schemes that banks demand look like they may present a problem especially when one factors in my student loan for my BSc which still has somewhere in the region of £11,000 left.

A friend of mine started a PhD (music) and self-funded by paying £150/month. I can't seem to find similar schemes on offer for science PhDs, they appear to ask for somewhere in the region of 3 repayments for an installment plan and no less.

Accommodation is also a big thing, I'd have to move out as the rent on my flat is currently £495/month and I can't see how I'd afford that if I worked part-time which I realistically I guess I'd have to do.

I really haven't a clue at the moment and just feel like somethign I've always wanted to do is beyond my reach.


Any ideas?

U

Hi Asrelius

I know how you feel... I didn't get AHRC funding for my PhD but my department said that it didn't matter because they would help me with the fees, paying either half, or all, of them - so I thought everything was fine. I passed up the chance of applying to my old uni (where I did my BA), which had alumni bursaries, and stuck to this uni where I have just completed my Masters. Now they say they are embarrassed to have to tell me that their budget has been cut and they have fallen out with the faculty head (not a good move), so I won't get any funding. My partner said perhaps do the PhD part-time, but I can't live off my partner, who has been so supportive over the past year, for 4-6 more years. We can't do it and now my partner agrees and says to leave it for a while. I am devastated, I think I will have to have a year out to work and save and then go back to uni. But I am so geared up to do it now that I am not sure whether I'll be able to switch it off and then switch back on in a year from now. I gave up a long-standing career to embark on this and I am so fed up today I can't really put it into words.

Have you considered applying for research council funding? The deadlines have passed for this year, but if you can wait it may be worthwhile for you.

Please would you mind telling me which uni your friend went to where they let him/her pay £150/month? I am not music, but humanities, and I might be able to afford £150 if I carry on working part-time or something.

Thank you so much.

S

Hi Asrelius and Unhappy,
i feel for you. i was in a similar situation about a year ago: i had started my PhD self-funded, and after the first year all my savings were gone, and no funding in sight. the options presented were, a)living of my parents and partner, b)changing to part time, and c)quitting. before i had started i had decided that i would NEVER do part-time anymore, as i have plenty of experience of that, having done part-time studies for about 8 years in the past. i didn't want to live of my parents and partner, especially since it would have meant that my mum had to cancel her own plans of finally starting her studies for a degree. so i was just about to quit, and very unhappy about it, because i had already put so much into the PhD (quit a good job, paid the first year fees and high living costs of london, moved to a different country, and of course, academic work), and it was/is actually my dream PhD that i would have been quitting from.
so, finally i revisited my earlier decisions and principles. and i was very lucky and got some funding from my uni, just enough to cover the fees. i decided to go for a mix: a little work on the side (i taught undergrad classes and apart from that worked for ca. 4h/week), a little help from my parents and partner. i was just to stubborn to give up, really. and then the amazing thing happened: i got funding for the next 16 months. so now, starting my third year, i am behind schedule, because i had to postpone fieldwork, due to having to work; but i'm still going to get my PhD. currently i have funding for nearly all next year. after that, i will just have to see.

so what i'm saying is two things:
one, there is this awful time when you realise that although you would give it your everything, that PhD is simply, unfairly, out of your reach, because you can't afford it. it's not fair, but there is nothing you can do about it. that realisation is devastating, disheartening, and for me, quite existential. upset as i was, i did also become aware, on the other hand, that overall, i was still very priviledged! the world is unfair, i can't have what i want, but, i do have a good life all the same. compared to most people on the world!
two, sometimes, with a bit of luck, if you just don't give up and just stubbornly keep going, it DOES all work out. it did for me. i wouldn't recommend my path to anyone - there is just too much chance it WON'T work. but sometimes it does. there is reason to hope and if you really want to try, go for it!

if you REALLY want that PhD, how can you say "but not if i have to do it part-time"? i totally accept that the "costs" can be too high. i think it is fair to say "i want that PhD but not at that cost". i'm just saying, if that is the case, it sometimes helps to be aware of the real decision you are making. often the decision is not "do i really want that PhD or not?" but rather, "how far am i willing to go/what am i prepared to pay in order to get that PhD?". and yes, it is unfair, because some people get their PhDs for less costs than others, so they don't have to ask themselves these difficult questions. it is unfair, but that's the way it is. there is not much you can do about it except understand the decisions you need to make and make them carefully.

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