Does it ever stop?!

K

I've been teaching now almost every week since October. That's about 5 months. It's the same class every week and I've never had any real problems with them. But I still get really really nervous every week. Not just before I'm due to go in: for most of the day. I'm bloody sick of it! Nerves are the bane of my life. I don't understand why some people can glide around effortlessly and I'm constantly convinced I'm going to fall over. The worst thing I've not got to the point where I can enjoy teaching yet because I'm always so nervous. If I want to do this for the rest of my life then I really need to get to the point where I can relax slightly.
I have calmed down in a lot of ways. I'm pretty sure my nerves aren't visible anymore and once I get into my stride I generally forget about being scared (apart from when I glance at the clock and think 'oh god, how am I going to fill up another half hour). But my class is at 3 and now my heart has started beating faster, I feel sick and sweaty (sorry!). 5 months is surely enough...when will it end!!

A


Sounds awful. I've always been fine when I've taught in the past but other things in life have induced similar panic in me. I found two things really helpful:
hypnosis (privately accessed)
CBT (accessed through a GP referral)

Both were brief interventions, I think three of each. I was sceptical but was amazed at a) how much better I understood the physiology of panic and b) the ability to calm it myself. The hypnosis added to the process (i did them around the same time) and definitely removed some 'triggers' to panic.

Thoroughly recommended. No harm in trying I'd say. If you were ever queried about the gp referral by future employers you could just say it was insomnia / smoking cessation / fear of heights!!

K

Hey Keep_Calm, I have exactly the same problem, although fortunately because I did double my required amount of teaching last semester I don't have to teach again until October, apart from supervising MSc students and I'm okay with that! But with the module teaching I was petrified all of last year and last semester as well, and it didn't really get much better. The thing that helped me most was to be very well prepared (obviously!) but also to have a friend from the same team there for support. Last year we were teaching in pairs and I was with a pal, and that was much better although I was still nervous. This year I was the only TA for the module (about 85 students) and for the sessions where it was just going to be me presenting stuff to them, running discussion sessions etc, I got someone to come down there with me for support and that made things a bit better. I did find that towards the end, when I had got into the swing of it, I usually felt better- the anticipation is the killer for me. The one thing that made it worse was my sup coming down to watch me teach- I was practically in tears and mute, I was that nervous! I think it is one of those things where it will get better in time, it's just slower for some of us than others. I am also very envious of people who can just get up and teach, present their work etc without batting an eyelid, but I like to hope that I might be that person one day, and hopefully you will too! Good luck with the teaching this afternoon! Best, KB

S

Hi Keep Calm,

Sorry I'm not going to offer much in the way of advice here, but I have similar panics and worries constantly. I don't teach on my own, but every time I'm due to tutor or help out with undergrads, I'm always nervous, which really bugs me! I know what you mean about the way some people just seem to be able to do anything without the slightest hint of nerves, but I guess that's just the way we are. I always tell myself that it'll be fine, nothing bad is going to happen etc etc, but I still get nervous, even with things that I've done many times before. I think I'm a lot better when something is more or less sprung on me, as I don't have the chance to worry about it. I wish I could just keep the worries aside, but it's so hard!

So thanks for sharing your worries, and rest assured you're not alone!!

N

Hi, I was an undergrad myself until June last year, although we've probably all been undergrads taught by PhD students, I hope I can offer some advice as I'm still being taught. I can totally understand why you are nervous and I'm sure I will be if/when I start teaching undergrad classes. But they are probably more nervous of you, you are the one with the knowledge and the control of the situation, who is teaching them. You are the one who marks their coursework and judges their progress, therefore they should be trying to impress you. I used to be nervous of all my tutors, as well as the teaching assistants when I was an undergrad (and still now sometimes!) in case I said something wrong. I don't know if you were the same but try thinking back to when you were an undergraduate student. If they are a decent group of people, they will not be judging you, they probably haven't even noticed your nerves. I hope that helped and it went well this afternoon. Nx

M

Hi Keep_Calm, Hope you made it through today's class ok. Mad as it sounds I've found the 'Feel the fear and do it anyway' book really good and the little book of confidence for a quick 'pick-me-up' before heading to the class. With time and effort I got control of my teaching/presenting nerves. Of course, then I let things slip for a year or so and get really nervous now when I have a presentation, seminar or important class (like supervisor watching). So I've taken out the books again and already things are improving once more!

Best of luck with mastering your nerves. They are YOUR nerves and hence you can have complete control over them. Rescue remedy is great for the physiological aspects and maybe nightcalms to ensure good nights sleep before the day :)

K

======= Date Modified 16 Feb 2010 20:12:15 =======
Thank you for all your kind replies,

As usual it was absolutely fine. Quite enjoyable even, I was nattering away quite happily by half way through: as you said, KB, its the anticipation that's so hard. I'm not really a shy and retiring person in 'real life' (ha ha!) but academia seems to turn me into a nervous wreck. Having said that, when I look back over all I've done in the last year and a half I have come a long way and can confidently do things now that would have killed me back then. Maybe I am improving, who knows.
Angelofthenorth I have considered counselling at times. It would be really great to have some kind of 'tool' that I could use to calm my nerves as at the minute I've got no real method of handling them and it can be physically painful at times! I suppose it can't help going to my GP and seeing what they say. During the next year and a half (and beyond) I'm only going to face more and more stressful situations and I don't want to be terrified out of my wits all the time.
I'm going to have a think about things anyway. Hope all of us bundles of nerves manage to stagger through it!

H

You need to stop caring.

Nothing matters.

Once you've got that sorted the nerves will disappear.

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