having a baby now?

S

looking for some advise. I'm on a three year project (love my work!), but I want a baby. Here are the issues I'm trying to figure out: If I have a baby in 9 months (half way through project) is it going to piss off my boss and stop me getting another job afterwards? Is it going to cause problems for the research as a whole? Even if I take a short maternity leave, will they want someone to replace me (and therefore it won,t be just my research any more!)?

If I wait until the end of the project: I might not get another job straight away therefore making it more difficult to justify trying, I might get a job straight away and have all of the issues above still - especially if its another short contract job. Plus I'm not getting any younger ,-)

Probably no-one can answer the questions but I appreciate any advise/personal experience/thoughts that you can offer.
xxxx

PS for parents - in your experience will it be possible for me to work from home with a baby there?

S

======= Date Modified 08 Sep 2010 19:11:43 =======
hi Siwee22
I also asked the same question; I was told if I got pregnant I would not be allowed in the lab because of health & safety regulations; I would have to stop the phd for at least one year (to allow for adjustments after the birth, childcare etc.). So I will not have any data.

If I stayed in the UK with a pregnancy, I would not be able to work in the lab, I would have to deliver the baby in the UK and also not able to fly to my home country after 6 months gestation. And this would also mean I would be away from my family, especially my mother who is a great help. At the same time I have to consider going home (if I had a baby) to have the baby there, and then after some 12 months, come back to the UK, and have to start all over (with the lab work that I left halfway!). It would not be impossible, but very difficult, I think.

what I can say is that if you have a support system here with you (partner/family etc) and if you can plan everything out nicely, then go ahead and have the baby. You need to see how far left you have in your project and sort of, fit everything around that, or see if you can fit your project around the baby.

Don't worry about getting another job afterwards etc.

You need to get past the project and baby bit first.

It is not impossible to work from home with a baby; but it will be difficult if you have to do everything yourself. If you are able to find childcare or your mum can help for a couple of hours, or get help with the housework etc., then it will help you a lot. You need to rest a lot.

oh yes, I forgot the boss bit. I dont think it will piss off your boss; after all pregnancy is every woman's right and that's life :-)

anyway you choose, plan properly :-)
love satchi


B

Does anyone really think that there is a perfect time for having a baby?

I agree with what Satchi said - it depends on your circumstances (support, financial situation, what kind of research you do). I don't have any children, but very much want to. As much as I want to be an academic for the rest of my life, having a family is a priority for me, and it is possible to have both. So even though it would be difficult, if my circumstances allowed I would go ahead (if I wasn't anticipating a better time in the foreseeable future).

As for your boss, who knows; depends on what type of person he/she is. There is no doubt that having a baby will impact your work. But if you think you can still make the project a success, then maybe you can convince your boss. After all, there's more to life than work - most people understand that.

This is one of those situations in which it is difficult to be a woman!

J

Should be editing a paper so really brief reply (as a parent).  While it is technically possible (sometimes) to work at home with a baby you MUST have someone else (partner, mum, nanny) to look after the baby otherwise there it is morally wrong to claim to be working when you are partly looking after your baby.  You are paid to work and so that is what you must do (of course everyone has the odd day when they work at home to look after a sick child and doesn't get much done but a regular arrangement of trying to do research while baby is there is not on - and you would find it really hard)

I worked part time when my children were babies (and even did a bit when on maternity leave with no 2) - they went to nursery on my working days but occasionally if there was something important on one of my non-working days I would dial into a conference call (or even when I was on maternity leave have meetings in my house). I had the baby with me but I wasn't actually being paid on those days.

As people have said depending on your work you may find you can't go into the lab or can't do fieldwork - on the other hand if your research involves interviewing people or running focus groups then that is like any office job (at least as far as pregnancy is concerned) and so for most women with straight forward pregnancies it would be fine.

You have legal protection form being sacked etc but if your pregnancy put the research back (because you can't be in the lab and no-one else can do your research) then you may find colleagues are resentful and don't want you on the next project.

C

It does sometimes concern me what to do if and when I want to have a family. I did know someone who got a post and immediately went on maternity leave for a year but I think that was a lecurship rather than postdoc. I do sometimes wonder whether it would be better for my boyfriend to be a stay at home dad while I worked, as I'm likely to be earning more and it may be easier for him to get time off (he's a primary school teacher) but this could cause problems with breast feeding. Hmmm guess there's lots of considerations.

Have you tried raising it with your boss? it may be that they can offe3r advice (though understand you may not want to raise it incase it changes things when you havn't made a decision)

S

Hi Siwee22,

Firstly I think it depends on your funding situation. For example my studentship allows for 6 months paid maternity leave, and six months unpaid, the clock is also stopped for the period of maternity leave you take.

As to working with a baby at home, I had my child pretty much during the winter break of the fourth year of my undergraduate degree. I had a few modules of the first semester to finish just after the birth, then I began my honours project when my son was a few weeks old. I picked a project that would allow me to be at home mostly, but had either my husband or mother looking after him so I could work. That meant I could breastfeed and I did not feel I was away from the baby. It was not totally easy though, and there were some stressful points, and that was just an undergrad honours project. But it was do-able.

So what I am eventually trying to say is to check your position with leave and pay etc, and to figure out if you would have the support if you had to work from home. I am just about to begin my PhD next month and my little boy is 20 months now, but I plan to treat it like a full time job, just that I will be tweaking the hours a little to fit around my husbands hours and childcare.

T

No one jumps for joy when a good member of staff says they're going to take 6-12 months off, it does mean your boss will have to adapt the work. But equally, you're allowed to be human, have a life, that's what employment regulations were designed for! If they're a decent person (especially with any family of their own) they'll understand and work with you as best they can. We're only forced to be this calculated because the damn system keeps us on short contracts, so don't feel bad, and really, when would be a good time? Personally I'd say that halfway through a 3 year contract is ideal, it means you have enough secure employment either side to be a useful and integrated member of the team. Any staff member could have a family, become ill or move away, so your boss shouldn't (and legally can't) hold this against you when the next job comes up. Yes you may lose the sole control on your research, and that has to be something you can live with. If you really want this and it's the right time for you, then I'd say go for it, unless you're expecting to land a permanent position in the near future then this seems as good a time as any :-)

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