How do you cope when, just like buses...

D

Three major things are about to hit you at once? New job, new city and (hopefully) new relationship. Ughhhhh... have I bitten off more than I can chew? How do you deal with lots of things having demands on your time? Is it possible to get an even balance or do you just have to take whatever comes along at the time and deal with it?

Feeling very overwhelmed...

And anyone in London who wants to take pity on a country boy moving to the big city with a pint or a cuppa is more than welcome to let themself be known! :-)

Avatar for sneaks

Congrats on all 3 Dan :-)

I'm sure, give it a few weeks, and you'll be settled in and feeling fine.

I am in London - south east and north london depending if I can be bothered to go to my office

P

I am moving to a new country in Europe (I dont speak the language at all) with a post-doc job in a few weeks, and my insides are knotting up!

I totally get you DanB and I wish I had some tips to offer,but am feeling (a) scared (b) guilty for feeling scared for I got a job after all,and have no business complainin...

A

======= Date Modified 28 Mar 2011 19:56:43 =======
Ha I know the feeling DanB! Just after the viva I started a new job, in a new city (country technically, given as it's in Scotland and I'm from NI...) and ended a long term relationship (which is possibly starting again, nothing like keeping things interesting eh) which has all been a bit crazy! So far I've been taking things as they come, which has been thick and fast and rather overwhelming to be honest, but tempered with baths and lots of wine and it's been manageable! Has meant a workload similar to final phd year which hasn't been great, but I can't complain cos I actually have a job which is really the dream job for me, if I could have just one day off a week I'd be in heaven I think!
Tips wise, I'd say roll with whatever comes along, but do make time for yourself when you can, and be brave, you can totally do this!!!

Anyone in Scotland here btw?!

N

Hi Dan, congratulations on all three, and I hope the relationship works out; is this the guy you posted about a few weeks ago?! I think in time you'll settle and be fine, despite the inevitable stress and chaos they are all positive things that can (and will) only get better with time.

I think taking a "dealing with whatever comes along" approach will work best, you will probably find the adjustment easier than you anticipate once you're actually in London and have started your new job.

I'm in SW London so I can take pity on you if you want!

Nx

W

Things will balance out, I'm sure. You're definitely braver than me though, taking on all of these things at once! I can see why you're feeling overwhelmed.

Here's how I'd sequentially tackle things:

1) New place to live. Make sure you've got cutlery (tin opener is a must), food in the fridge/freezer and your TV, internet and everything set up. Don't forget to sort out your utility providers (should take a couple of evenings or so).

2) I'm assuming that work will be a 9 - 5 scenario, which will hopefully leave you with evenings and weekends available for fun and frolics.

3) Relationship-wise, things may be a little tempered and shaky to begin with, what with you having a new place and job, but give it a few weeks and you should be fully on your feet. I've been told there's loads of things to do in London, so you'll never be short of things to do with your partner or all the new people you'll meet.

Congratulations on your new life circumstances; there's bags of potential and the possibilities are endless!(up)

D

Wow, thanks everyone for your replies! You are the best :-)

Yeah, this is the guy I was posting about a few weeks ago, things are going very well! ONly just found out I've been offered the job today so it's all a bit of a whirl still, just trying to figure it out in my head how to deal with it all. I think the taking it as it comes is the best idea - fortunately he has been there through all of it so he knows what the stakes are and it doesn't seem to bother him. And because of where we both live and the fact all the jobs I've been interviewing for in London mean we have both had lots of chances to meet up in London and I'm starting to get comfortable with the idea of living there. Have quite a bit of time before I will actually start the job because of notice period etc so hopefully it will mean I can pace things a bit. All very scary and exciting at the same time! Though deffo not looking forward to telling my current work I'm leaving...

Thinking a London meetup is deffo on the cards!(up)

E

Well done from me, too!!!!!
I know moving to a new city can be difficult at first (mind you I have moved a lot during and after my studies!!!!), but it can also be fascinating! Meeting new people, doing new things, getting to know new naighbours..... I really miss that!!!!!!!!!

A new job....if that's not fascinating, then what is? And if it is something that you want to do (not something that you have to do) then it is even better!!!!!!!!!!

And finally, new relationship!!!!!!!! Getting to know each other... the good and the bad things...... the new experiences....

Wel done!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. I am not in London, but I go there every time I come to UK. I really love this city!!!!!

O

Congrats on the job, the relationship and the big move!
I think when making those major changes all at once its important to get grounded somewhere in your life...like in your living space, figure out your nearest grocery store, or coffee shop or local pub or where-ever, and have at least one point in your "new" life that feels familiar.

And then to some extent you take it as it comes--but you can manage a bit by prioritising, ie, as has been posted here, some very good tips about what to sort first!

Well done and congrats, very exciting stuff!

B

I had a similar situation a few years back when I moved house, started a new course and a new realtionship all in the space of a week - it was pretty overwhelming!
I thinkg getting settled in your new place is a priority. If you can get a solid 'base' where you feel at home and can relax it helps you to cope with the things a new job & relationship can throw at you.

D

Congrats that's excellent news and for it all to come together makes it more exciting. I'd agree with the others and take it as it comes as things hardly ever go to plan anyway! I find that things always seems to happen to be me that way too - nothing happens for ages and then suddenly a few things come along at once! London's a great place to be with so much to do, discover and explore you won't be bored. It's not always as expensive as you might think although that depends on what you do!

Good luck (up)

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