Despite the human rights complaint, against a faculty member of my department, which did not work in my favor, I decided to continue on in my program, being I have 2 years invested, much student loan money invested, and a crappy economy. In addition, I think this degree might open a few doors, even though I have lost my passion for it.

After I made this decision yesterday, I did not feel great. I had a panic attack (I have an anxiety disorder and other health issues).

Today I have this feeling of dread. I think my body's response is indicating that I might have made the wrong decision.

Your thoughts?

Diva, it might pass though. A single panic attack doesn't necessarily mean you've made the wrong decision or that you will continue to feel this way. It might be more of an intense reaction ( that with a bit of time and self-care and logical thinking) will abate. I think you need to be quite gentle on yourself and just gradually ease your way back into the mindset and work habits you need to complete this degree. If they don't go away then perhaps get some counselling or friendly support from whoever helps you with these things in your life and consider your options.

But given your decision and the difficulties you have stated, plus the anxiety disorder, a panic attack doesn't sound out of the ordinary and doesn't necessarily indicate any 'red flags' alerting you that this is the wrong decision. And decision making is a process and messy for most of us-for now you are electing to continue in the phd-maybe at a later time you won't...you still have that option if you really need it...but for now you are going on. For what it is worth-I think that I would have made the same decision.

I have found over the last few months that I have gone through a different way of thinking about my own part-time phd. I don't need it for further professional advancement in my own workplace and could actually probably complete a second masters relating to leadership that might be more useful in term's of promotion to be honest-and i don't now really want to work in academia (as I once did). Knowing the way I feel and what I know to be true about my profession and workplace, I have wondered very much whether it is worth continuing...but I am committed now and will complete it. Although I will truly rejoice when it is done and won't be looking for postdocs or further study. And it will help me to publish and write-so will be good in this way-it certainly does develop one in many ways, but I can see that it is just one form of learning-and in my case- no longer a necessary one. So I can understand very much your reservations...but still believe even knowing these, that it might be good to complete and see where it leads and then to get on with life.

Hope this helps...:-) Good luck to you and be gentle with yourself...