I am having a dilemma over where to live. Currrently I am renting a one bed on campus for 710 euro a month including bills. I only have a stipend on 10,000 so my parents help me out. However I only moved in June and it very quickly became far too hot to work here. In addition there was a major spider problem owing to fact I beside a river and the building is cladded in wood. I ended up going to parents house in an attempt to get some work done. So I decided I had to move, after alot of searching I found a room in a house for only 300 including bills. The room is very small, tiny- just about enough room for a 50 inch desk. I will be sharing with home owner and two other students and the owner assures me it will be a quiet place to study. she's about 45 and very nice. This was the only room i could find that allowed smoking and was sharing with older people ( I a mature student).

Now I am having second thoughts about moving, I am back in my one bed and its lovely and cool and am looking forward to vegging in my pjs in front of tv with total provacy and studying when it suits me in my massive bedroom. Happy days!!

But then there the expense - a 410 price difference-- my parents are happy to pay it they say- they just want to see me make a success of my Phd and get where I need to go. They have debt, but really the money they spend on me is just small compared to thier actual debt so they don't mind. But I feel bad, I don't like putting them under financial pressure being the age I am. And there is a spider problem and is being on my own 24/7 the healthiest, mentally.

But would a tiny room, thats 35 minutes from campus ( I do have a car, and could do with some excercise), where I will little privacy to chill at weekends, make doing what I trying to do harder?

so sorry this is long, But i would appreciate some toughts from other phd students who may understand my dillemma

thank you!

It's a tough one and there's a few things you need to weigh up. If I were you, I'd prefer to live with people. I'd go crazy living on my own. It's not like you'll get no privacy if the people you're living with are also students, they'll understand that you need time to work and some 'you' time. And when you need people there to provide 'the right level of distraction' then they'll be there. I can't imagine living alone, my flatmate has gone home to Portugal for a few weeks and it's already bothering me. It's just nice to have someone there who you get on with who'll crack open a can of beer with you and talk about work, sport, politics or whatever. Gets me out of my main circle of friends (who all work in a similar area of research to me).

As for your parents supporting you, you need to decide if you're going to end up feeling guilty about allowing them to help you when you have a choice to live somewhere cheaper. Again, I can only speak from personal experience but as a young adult I prefer to support myself. My parents did loads for me growing up and I can't thank them enough, I don't want them to have to continue supporting me in my 20s. So even though I can't really afford to pay them back what I think I owe them (I can't even measure that in money) I can at least let them save a bit more for when they retire! I realise this isn't an option for everyone though. As for the 35 minute distance... get a bike and get some exercise! The increased fitness will be a big boost to your work, seriously!

hi newlease36

welcome to the forum! Firstly, you are so lucky that your parents are happy to support you. Yes, although they are not paying a huge amount for your expenses--it would be nice for you not to take anything from them (as you indicated---feeling a bit guilty). But never mind.

btw my father was always unwilling to contribute to my education. He was like this not only to me but for my other siblings! See the difference?!

First of all, don't feel guilty if you need your parents' help--and since they are more than willing to help you, accept their kind help, thank them with all your heart and continue being nice to them -- and concentrate on your phd (they will be so proud of you when you finish!).

If I have to choose between the Spider Room and the Tiny Room in a Shared House, I'll pick the Spider Room for privacy and space -- HOWEVER, given the fact that I have some monetary support (and so much love) from my parents, I'll continue my Room Hunt and search for other alternatives!

Look for another room without spiders :-)

love satchi

well i decided to go for small room, paid deposit and collected keys, so no turning back now-- and i instantly regret it. a 30 minute commute twice a day!!! I'll get no work done. and god only knows what my flatmates will be like. why of why do I always make such bad decisions!! not only that but now i have to waste time moving...

is this buyer's remorse, feeling a little crazy right now

Whenever I make a decision I immediately start thinking, "what have I done....?" and doubting myself.

Hopefully the move will work out. I think it sounds like a good decision, people often talk about the loneliness of doing a PhD and at least with housemates there will be other people around that you can chat to in the evening. A half hour commute isn't really that long, you could use the time for reading or just thinking about your topic. I really valued my time mulling things over during my PhD (though I generally found the best place for thiking was lying in bed!)