Hi. I'm looking for sympathetic/understanding ears who have gone through or are going through a PhD with psychopathic supervisors. Mine feel they need to own my soul. I am an adult with many years of experience behind me but they infantilise me and I can do nothing without their prior consent. This includes writing papers or applying for internships or workshops that might aid my career plans. Or taking on a job to support myself and pay my bills!

Unless they are kept abreast of EVERYTHING going on in my life, and all my plans, they are vicious and passive aggressive. I feel like I am having a relationship with a person with some sort of malicious personality disorder.

An example of the sort of behavior I have endured includes:
My father passed away early in my PhD and this obviously impacted my work. On the one hand my supervisor wanted to know what was going on, but then made insensitive comments about my reaction to it. At other times, it is like my father's death never happened at all and any issues I have are just because I am selfish and lazy. At other times I am told that supervisors are not there to "baby" their students, and that our issues are our own and not to use them as excuses.

It takes all the self restraint I can muster not to just quit and move elsewhere :(

I can really empathise with this situation. I was a mature graduate in my thirties when I commenced my first PhD project and my experiences mirror those described by you. I was micromanaged by my supervisors who wanted to know everything about my life, including where I lived, how I was travelling into university and even how I should equip my bicycle for commuting. They would not allow me to work unsupervised and admitted that they had no confidence in my ability to work at PhD level. Once, I caught the train into work but it was late due to breaking down. My supervisor refused to speak to me for the rest of the day, even though I had gone through the correct channels by contacting the admin office as soon as I could. On another occasion, my wife became ill and I needed a few days off to look after our baby son and my supervisor said it was my fault for having too much 'baggage'. I ended up completely losing all my confidence and left my PhD after just seven months in but, luckily, I had done enough work to submit data for an MRes and was awarded this degree. However, I did not attend the graduation ceremony and left on pretty much awful terms and was even told that I was the worst postgraduate student they had ever had in an email written to me from the lead supervisor. It was a catastrophe from start to finish, I was exhausted, very disappointed and had made more enemies than friends at the institution.

After leaving, I returned back to my old job as a cook in a college and thought that I would never darken the door of academia again. A year later I saw an advertisement for a PhD studentship at my local university (a different one from the first PhD) that sounded perfect; I applied and was successful. Things were hugely dissimilar in the new project and I was given a free reign to pretty much do as I pleased regarding the work. Continued...

I made a really good start to the project and my new supervisors were very pleased with my progress. I went on conferences to Finland, Switzerland, France and Prague as well as all over the UK. I once even addressed a learned society in my field and was nominated for a young investigator's prize. We published in several peer-reviewed journals and I was loving my work and was virtually self-supervised. I was also lecturing on a part time basis in the university and even managed to train as a radiographer during the PhD writing-up stage. I landed a job in the NHS and have been promoted in that position. Last year I passed my viva with minor corrections and have recently graduated with my PhD. I don't really think it could've gone any better.

Therefore, my advice would be to take stock of your current PhD study and see if you have sufficient material to write up a Masters degree or similar. Put this in your back pocket and seek a studentship elsewhere. You will have learned a great deal from being micromanaged and will be able to judge potential supervisors with much more of an insight. In my first PhD, supervisory style was not at the forefront of my tick-list but it should be a priority if you want a positive and successful PhD experience. Best wishes to you and good luck!

I have been through a terrible experience during my graduate (MS) study in an US university. I have finished it successfully.During that time I have faced severe problems with my mentor. He was not compassionate or co operative towards me and my problems. He often bullied me infront of undergraduates due to some negligible mistakes. There were cases where I was doing some experiments for the first time and I was not successful and he accused me of wasting his precious time and money.He never allowed me any holidays.Even he called me to come to the lab when I was sick and I emailed him about my sickness.He never appreciated any of my endeavors and always criticized my efforts.I could not quit the lab at that time because I had finished significant amount of research work at that time, required for my degree.There was a chance that if I join a new lab, I have to start from scratch.He never took any effort to publish or present my research work.I was also selected to present my research in a conference but when I informed him, he never replied me back.He was so critical that once I was late on a Saturday and he told me that I am not focused and undergraduate students are better than me.He said that infront of all the undergraduates.Despite staying loyal, and working hard, when I asked for a recommendation letter in December 2012 and January 2013, he was very reluctant and he asked if I really need the letter. There were some universities where I applied and some of them said that I have very high chances of getting into the Doctoral program. After receiving his recommendation letter, they cancelled my application and rejected me. In this case, I want to mention that he told me in august of 2012 that I am not capable of doing PhD studies and I do not have required skills. But in 2013 September, he told me I have the zeal to do PhD and he wants me to do PhD under his guidance. I said I am not staying in the lab and I decided to move on. After receiving my degree, he told me if I go to some good school, I will fail and my intellect is very low and skills are not at per although I graduated with a GPA of 3.7/3.8 out of 4. Most of my committee members and other professors in the department recognized my hard work.Fortunately I got accepted to a doctoral school without his reference letter and my committee members provided me with reference letters. Now my dilemma is if my mentor comes to know about this and if he tries to inform my new university will it hamper my doctoral studies? I am in a very depressing situation and I don't want to lose this opportunity after all these hard work. As I always wanted to do PhD and I want to make a new start forgetting the debris of the past. Please help me. I will be grateful for your advice.

I had two supervisors when I was doing my PhD. One is local, the other one is a German professor. I really like the German guy who gave me quite lot support in my study and life. However, he was too far away from me. So I am some sort of in-charge of the local supervisor. This local professor did not care about me. I have not talked anything with him for about entire one or two years!! And at the end stage of my research, he started to intervene my research and showed a strong commitment in the research detail, that however dragged me about further half year for submission of my thesis. Unfortunately, none of them could give good support in academics field, which is a shame. I learned almost everything by myself. That is my story. Now I hope I can finish my so called "minor" corrections as soon as possible, and get rid of this nightmare.

On the other hand, I have to say the local supervisor is not that bad as I thought before. My current employment was somehow depending on his recommendation. After my first interview, my current boss had a long chat with him, it seems he highly recommended my skill and abilities. So, I must say, I am now in a much better position comparing with most of the low-age fresh graduates.

My suggestion is that, 1) you'd better to keep a good relationship with your supervisor, 2) over communication is always better than less communication, 3) keep patience.

I am not going to attend my PhD graduation ceremony.

I know exactly what you're saying from my second post-doc experience. There's plenty of us who've ended up "under a cloud" for different reasons. When the post-doc starts with a senior Prof. who you've only just met saying to a new colleague you're a "second choice, a stop gap measure" and "we'll just have to make do" as though you're not there whilst you're actually in the room, you can gather how the post-doc went. Unfortunately, that second post-doc ended any chance of a research or academic career and it also ruined my reference history (no reference from him) and previous long good record. I found work nearly a year after though my career has now taken a different direction - I'm back almost exactly where I was before my PhD (though don't regret doing it).

The relationship during PhD between supervisor and candidate (this also applying at post-doc) can be a deal breaker not just for the PhD but for your subsequent career. Yes, there are bad students who need to be moved on, but there are also examples of poor supervision or management. In academia especially, accountability for this is limited with no alternative to your supervisors and the tendency of academia to close ranks if someone is seen as a "trouble maker". Students can simply have their funding stopped come the next review or on reaching their mid-term progression. If employed, you are edged out or your contract is not renewed (you see out the contract with minimal duties as it's easier than sacking you).

Ian (Mackem_Beefy)

Hello TALNTY

It is quite surprising that your supervisor is interested in minutest details. Please check if he is really interested in your research topic and wants to carry out any research with you.

You know, most PhD students I know are fresh out of undergrad and need this kind of support. You are lucky that you don't. You supervisors probably aren't very well adapted to different students' needs; that's a weakness of theirs but it doesn't make them a psychopath. I was also an experienced career person before I took my PhD and experienced the same things that you are describing - the difference is I just explained to them I was more than capable of coping on my own and they realised this and backed off a bit. If they slip back into their old habits from time to time I forgive them for it. It shows they care.

Regarding writing papers/internships/jobs etc, of course they are going to get involved! It's their career on the line as well as yours, and I expect they know better than you what will be a benefit and what will be a hindrance in the future.

I'd say a bit of clear communication wouldn't go amiss.