I seem to do that all of the time at the moment.

I'm nearly 4 months in, and I just don't know what to do with myself half the time. Some days I sit at my desk looking around and wondering what I should be using that time for - now it's not that I don't have things to do, I have many. I should be making an attempt at a literature review (I should be reading, but I can't read - I'll get to that); I should be programming my experiment, or perhaps pilot-testing because I'm worried that my stimuli will not produce the perceptions that I actually want to study...; I should be marking my undergrads' exam papers... etc etc etc

Marking has taken a lot of time recently, and on mentioning that to my supervisor as I saw her casually whilst getting a drink from the kitchen, she tells me not to spend too much time on it - only 15 minutes per paper (which is impossible, quickest I've done one is 40 mins) and tells me I need to hurry up with my programming.

So rather than a 10 minute chill-break, I came back with extra stress, only to continue to stare at my computer wondering what on earth I'm supposed to be doing. And when I do finally settle on a task, either I can't focus on it for long enough to make observable progress, or it takes me "longer than it should".

Anyone else?

And when I said "I can't read", of course I know that this is a preposterous notion, given that it would have been impossible to get where I am without being able to read. What I mean is, I seem to have lost the attention and memory capacities required to read effectively or with any kind of speed faster than a snail crawling over the words. Marking papers has highlighted this especially, because I get to the end of a section, say 500 words, and am seemingly unable to write feedback because I simply can't remember a single word I just read.

It seems to be even worse when trying to read for my research.

4 months in is nothing really, it seems quite harsh for you to be given marking at that point? Or are you doing some sort of RA/PhD where you have to work too?

It sounds like you are over-stressing, an easy thing to happen but for some people (myself included) it means productivity stopping and kind of feeling like a rabbit in headlights and not being able to do anything useful! Stop thinking about everything you have to do and concentrate on one small thing at a time.

As for the reading, it's a problem I have myself too! The only way I have found to deal with it is to write while I am reading. If I just read I'll forget it all, if I am writing the lit review at the same time, even just writing the odd sentence as I go like 'Smith et al 2015 found this' and then when you read the next paper add the next sentence. Then it is just a case of re-ordering facts and adjoining sentences rather than starting from a blank page. That's what works for me but I know some people who write lots of notes on each paper they read, or make tables comparing papers as they go along, it's the case of finding what works for you. Not sure about marking papers though as it's not something I've had the chance to do.

Thanks for your reply :)

Yeah I'm funded on a 'demonstratorship' so I have teaching and marking to do as a condition of my funding...supposedly an average of 6 hours per week, but with marking that's never going to happen.

I do tend to co-read-and-write as you mentioned, though occasionally it worries me as the reading and the writing are both slow. I've been able to do that to some extent with marking (though when moderation happens I'll have no contribution to make because I can't remember), and literature review is progressing at about 250words per week... Some of it is over-stress though, like I get stressed on seeing (and hearing about, excessively) how much writing other people do - I try not to compare as I know they're doing completely different things, but what often happens is:

Me "I feel like I haven't achieved much today" (having read one paper)
Colleague "Oh don't worry about it, all I've done today is read 3 papers and written 2000 words!!" <-this colleague in particular seems to make it competition-like, and also somehow transform anything I mention into something about her, which peas me off as well.

Definitely feeling like a rabbit in headlights though, so much seems to be expected at the moment (with little or no guidance or instruction, even for teaching-stuff, which keeps making me look stupid in front of students) and my supervisors are awkward to get a hold of, even when I have a specific question - who knows what I can even say if I did get a meeting with any of them!!

(MARKING)

Marking is absolutely horrific. It takes up all of your time. However, your supervisor is correct in saying that you should try and bring it down to only 15-20 mins per paper. This means you might need to cut back on all the in-text comments you might be making and perhaps utilise a detailed qualitative rubric with just some additional comments on the bottom. It's so tempting to correct everything in a paper but the reality is you just don't have the time to help the students with their writing/language expressions. I was the same with marking, and after a few years of teaching I can get about 3-4 papers done an hour (depending on the word count) but I don't provide in-text comments. A massive (we're talking A3 size haha) landscape rubric and some comments are my methods.

One thing that helps with marking (I found) is keeping a list of common issues that you find where you can just copy and paste the feedback in. You don't need to reinvent the wheel with feedback, there will be common issues that students do. I always have a word document with common phrases I can use/can be adjusted.

The other thing that helps with marking is dividing your papers by the number of days you have to mark, and setting a minimum limit per day. So, if you have 100 papers to mark, and 10 days to get them marked (with 2-3 extra days for error/etc) then that's 10 papers a day. If you can get yourself down to 3-4 an hour, then that's only a couple of hours. I might do 5 first thing in the morning, and then 5 in the evening.

(PHD)

The reality is that when you teach and do a PhD at the same time, you'll be putting in more than the standard 8 hours. It might be worth seeing if at some point you'll be able to take a semester off from teaching/ra work to focus on your PhD. I didn't teach the first semester 2011, or the first semester 2012 which was ideal as it allowed for me to get writing done, and data collection.

4 months in is very early and throughout your PhD you'll feel like you've got absolutely no idea what you should be doing. Try not to compare yourself to others (though it is difficult); to be honest I found that not working around others/talking to others about their PhD lessened the stress and feeling of not getting work done. This meant that my PhD experience was rather isolating as I often worked from home, but I did get a lot of work done and this minimised the feeling of not 'getting enough done' in contrast to others. Just something to think about.

As Caro has said, one thing at a time. Other than your teaching expectations, maybe focus on either your literature review or your programming, but not both at the same time.

Thanks for replying :) Marking has gradually got quicker for me. 15 minutes or less is realistic for an exam paper, but definitely not for the lab reports! Unfortunately I can't streamline the process a lot because the lecturers have their specified ways in which all the TAs must mark...though in reality I think most of the problem for me is down to the reading thing!!



(see I even had to read&respond to those 2 posts because I couldn't remember what I'd read)

At the moment I stuggle to even fit 8h into my day because of wandering attention and lack of focus - I'm probably working about 10 hours but a large proportion of it is spent not actually working, if that makes sense. I get what you mean about isolation though, I live alone too and work at home some days - then sometimes going into the office is a cure for one problem and a cause of another!

Tomorrow I'm going to try and solve some programming problems, not least of which is that IT still haven't re-installed the software on my computer (despite a month of requesting...) which makes me fed up before I even start...I am trying the one-thing-at-a-time thing though, I just can't seem to keep focus when I actually start on the one task I've said I'd do in the day...

Who writes 2000 good words a day? Not as the day in day out trudging. 1000 good words a day is fine. Some days it will much lower, some days a bit higher. The person that says they read 3 papers and write 2000 words a day is being mean. If they mean 2000 words of thinking, fine, but 2000 words of medium-good draft...have only done that when I've had a deadline that I wasn't meeting.

One good piece of advice I got early on was to try and get rid of a 'nasty' job that's been lurking on your things to do list. For example, it might be that the situation with IT is dragging on and getting you down, and dedicating some time to sorting that out might improve how you feel about other things.

I agree that the other PhD student you spoke to is just ultra-competitive. Unfortunately some students are like that - you can't have a conversation without them trying to pull ahead. Everyone's PhD is different so it makes no sense to compare yourself on the small elements that can be quantified. I'd be extremely surprised if anyone consistently produces 2000 words a day, not least because they'd have produced an entire thesis-worth of material in a month and a half!

I had marking to do in the first semester of my PhD, and I also started out slowly, but it does get easier with practice. As others have said, you can't correct every little thing, and you will notice loads of students making the same errors, so try to devise some stock phrases.

Finally, I'd say ten minutes of listening to your supervisor talk shop is not a break, no matter how well-meaning she was. I'd probably find a way to hide somewhere else in the uni for a proper break in your shoes - I like anonymous places like the library or the main refectory where the last people I'd find are staff and other PhD students :)

Also - depends how long the scripts are re. marking...im in sociology and on 1st year 2000 word essays i spend 15 - 20 mins max, on 3rd year 5000 word essays i spend 40 mins. i resent spending more time because i'm getting paid to work at that speed, so why should i be exploited by the uni to spend more time just because i have better morals than the uni? i.e. im willing to be paid crap to make sure the student getsthe best feedback. thats the unis job not mine.

first year students rarely have much to say that requires much analysis though anyway i find. you can quickly tell if a third year has put in a lot of graft, and then maybe i will slow down a bit.

the more you do it the easier it gets. set a timer for 20 mins.

really try to invest into not overthinking stuff. its just the worst in the phd.

What you're describing with the inability to concentrate can be normal for this stage of the PhD but can also be a symptom of depression/anxiety, so seek advice from your doctor if you think this might be the case for you.

I can't imagine writing this much even if I had a deadline...



Had an email this evening from IT saying it's solved - so hopefully it's true this time and hopefully it will help!! (And I found a new corridor today too)



Scripts were ~3500 (though measured in page limit instead of word limit - another peeve of mine)



This is a big worry. I've had problems with depression/anxiety previously and I really don't want to be down that route again (though feels inevitable at times).

Sorry Magatrix, I didn’t mean to worry you, it’s just that I recognise that behaviour in myself. As others have said, it’s also par for the course for a four-months-in PhD!

It's not your fault haha - this is something I'll worry about regardless :/

I'm at a similar stage and the same kind of thing happens to me almost every day. I don't know if that's any comfort but hopefully it does improve!! :)