I am a mom of 2 kids (8yrs and 19mos). I always wanted to be in academia, teaching students and without a Phd I will not be able to get a teaching job.

More into the story, I did my Masters when my first kid was 2.5 yrs old. After Masters, we changed cities and got pregnant, I could only manage to get admin jobs for 2.5 years. Things we different when I was in Masters, I loved the studying and had no other stress except feeling guilt about my son. I only used to work 3 hrs/day and run to my son's daycare. About weekends, I think I only spent 3 weekends or so in my university, I took holidays and enjoyed doing my Masters TO THE CORE. My husband helped me A LOT when in Masters.I am an average student, not a wiz at all but I work dedicated and hard, so my grades make it look as if I am intelligent.

Well now after 3 years after Masters, things changed. Me and my husband had some issues and even though he 'seems'to care, I feel very insecure that I am not financially independent and I feel paranoid that I need to be there for my kids. I dint not want to make him pay for my Phd, so I applied for funds. Now I have awarded full funding for full time Phd, I am still to sign papers and start next month. My husband offered to keep a helper for 2 days/week and put my 19 month old in day care. I am thankful.

Now, my questions:

Has any one done full time with kids?
How many hours do I need to put?. I have NO IDEA of how to get a topic or anything as of now
I am I insane to even think about taking up phd
How sharp do you need to be to complete in 3 years, my funds end after 3 years...

Please help me all,I rely on you.

hi Heron welcome to the Forum, your questions:
Yes plenty of people have done phds. It is possible.

How many hours do I need to put?. I have NO IDEA of how to get a topic or anything as of now - if I were you, I wouldn't count hours to put in, I would look at whichever days I can work for the phd, and just do that step by step. If you count hours, you will find that your kids will get in the way, your husband will get in the way, everybody else will get in your way.

no you are not insane to think of doing a phd. The only downside about doing a phd (and it applies to EVERYONE) is that sometimes a phd can really take over our life. We live and breathe only the phd, and this affects people around us who are NOT doing the phd.

I think everybody needs to be sharp :-) but don't worry about deadlines, because most people do take longer than 3 years. If you want to do a phd, work towards achievable targets, don't look at 3 years to complete, it will drive you nuts. If it happens, then it happens.

To do a phd, will not be too different from when you did your masters.
Since your husband did help you a lot.

What you will need is loads of support from him (or your family), talk to your husband, make sure you still allocate time for him. Husbands are like "pets" (no offence intended), they need nurturing.

If you nurture your husband well, he will support you and he will do even more for you (without you having to ask!!!).

If you have parents, ask them to help you to babysit, and then start planning out family things -- like when you will go grocery-shopping, when you will clean the house etc.

everything starts with a dream, best of luck
love satchi

Are you in the UK? What's your subject?

You should think of a PhD as fulltime, so at least 40 hours a week, but like Satchi says, this depends on the person and how productive they are.

If you are in the UK you will have four years max to complete your PhD. Most students take 3.5 to 4 years. It's rare to complete in three, but not impossible.

I have 2 children 5 and 6 yrs old. It is doable, infact I am finding it easier that full time work because it is more flexible. The hours depends a lot on what you are doing. You will not need to be at a PC on library for 40 hours a week, lots of those hours can be done ruminating over ideas whilst you hoover and wash the pots!

You have to be more clever with your time and focused e.g. there are students in my uni who don't have children and def put in full 40 hours+

I don't put in as much time because I make sure everything I do is as focused on my own PhD topic as possible. I have made as much (more in some cases) progress as my colleagues. I find children make me more focused and less likely to wander off topic. I'm always ahead of deadlines because I have to plan for the dreaded month doing nothing when both come down with Chicken pox etc!

Be aware that even *with* a PhD you may not be able to get a teaching job. The academic job market is not good in the majority of fields, at least in the UK and US. Therefore if your primary motivation for doing a PhD is to become a lecturer, do your homework as to whether or not there is a good chance of you getting the job you want at the other end. This is particularly pertinent if you desire financial independence - you may need to have a solid 'plan B' for if the PhD does not enhance your employability.

I'm afraid I disagree on this one. Aside from the fact that PhD work can be substantially different in nature and difficulty compared with Masters studies, the sacrifices required on behalf of a student and their family for a 1-2 year masters can become intolerable over the course of a 3-4 year PhD. I do not think the experiences directly correspond.

First of all: CONGATULATIONS for getting full funding!

Now, to come down to the specifics:

1. Yes, I have some friends who did, I have no clue how... They generally took a bit longer. As wowzers said, people with children tend to be more focused. I didn't have commitments, so I could generally spent time getting involved with teaching and other departmental responsibilities.
2. It's not quantifiable... so it's not after 3000 hours you get a PhD. It depends a lot on your topic. For example, I had a good 20 weeks of fieldwork in the second year, which was typically from 7:00 in the morning until 19:00 at night. It was followed by months of transcribing and clearing data.
3. Yes, we are all insane to do a PhD. The biggest hit I took was financial, in the sense that in the last year I ran out of funding and had to work. It was bad.
4. Completing on time is also a matter of external parameters, like a well-organised project/supervisor, lab equipment/ data that is available.

I agree with Satchi, that it affects your relationship with the world and humans, as it becomes priority over food, friends and sleep. We become boring talking about the PhD a lot (because we get obsessed).

A PhD doesn't guarantee a job.... many years of postdoc (if you are lucky to get one) are normally required before a lectureship. Some postdocs or lectureships require relocation...(ouch).

Oh Thank you so much every one!..this forum is wonderful :).

I now get some insight. I am not doing it in US or UK. I am in South Africa. Although I understand that a PhD wont land me into a job, I want to try as this seems the only way to end up in academia. I only have approx 2 years of experience in pieces which is next to zero....

Also my funding seems a bit strict as it says in the contract that " on termination ALL of the funding has to be refunded WITH INTEREST"...and also there is a penalty for not completing in 3 years!!. Well, looks like if I meddle with the course in ANY manner, I am screwed. On top of that my husband just reveals that we might need to relocate after 2 years, it isnt for 100% but chances are still there. I have not signed anything yet, but I waited for funds for a whole last year. I feel all confused :(. I did mail my supervisor on this possibility and waiting for response