At the moment I've been working 60 hours a week for the past 8 months, trying to write my thesis and papers and finish lab work. When I'm at university I'm fine, but when I see friends or family it makes me really unhappy. I don't know why. I don't feel stressed or depressed the rest of the time, just when I see them and for a few days afterwards. I only see them every couple of weeks and even that feels like too much.

Has anyone else felt like this? I'm hoping this will go away once I've submitted and I can go back to working normal hours again.

Sounds a bit like Stockholm Syndrome? Perhaps a short break would help, 60 hours for 8 months is an awful lot.

Yeah maybe you're right. That's ok then, it will end when I'm out of captivity. Can't take a break as I only have 3 months to go.

Yeah I agree with pd, I get a bit like that when I call my Mum or Dad or non-phd friends (I live 500 miles away) but mostly because they don't understand. And every week my Mum asks 'have you finished your writing yet?' and sounds disappointed and confused when I say 'no it's going to take me months and months'. Haha. Do you make sure to take at least one day (or at least half day) off each week? You might be burning out a bit and need some time to yourself.

I felt like this too at times, TreeofLife.

Burnout is one theory - you’re too tired from all the hours you’re working to have the necessary energy to enjoy being with friends and family.

Another possibility is that you’ve conditioned yourself to cope with the demands of the PhD - hence feeling fine while you’re working - but underneath you’re not really fine at all, and this comes to light when you try to step outside the PhD bubble and into a “normal” environment for a bit.

I don’t think it’s at all healthy but never did manage to figure out a solution for myself. At least you only have 3 months to go - I found I gradually improved once I’d submitted.

One part of your life is receiving disproportionate amounts of your time and attention just now (because it needs to). You're working towards a huge goal and at the same time preparing to bring that work to an end. That's a lot to cope with psychologically! If these feelings are not overwhelming, it might help just to try to accept them as a reaction to the exhaustion, stress etc that is probably underpinning everything at the moment. Your life's out of balance right now, but this period will pass.

Thanks everyone. I feel better now, thinking about it as you have mentioned as a coping mechanism and that it will pass.