In perpetual agony

posted
16-Mar-16, 11:53
edited about 47 minutes later
Avatar for Agony_agony
posted about 4 years ago
Hi,

I am 34, and have been contemplating a doctoral in management for at least 10 years now. I am prepared to handle the academic rigor and competition to get in.

The only question I am grappling with is if it is too late now. 10 years of sales job can make you dull and moronic. I hate my job. My interest lies in critiquing the existing paradigms and thoughts abou poverty alleviation. I have been reading and thinking about it for sometime. I have one more year of intense reading and test writing ahead of me before I write my sops and intent.

Also, I have a family and hate to admit that I am financially unstable. I feel like I may end up compromising my kids education. My coworkers look at me as if I have gone insane while I express my desire to leave a moderately well paying job and prepare myself for it this year. Without funding, I cant get through this.

But supposedly I get all that, is it worth putting your family through this? While I spend the 4-5 years abusing and training my dull faculties, my family will be surviving on the paltry savings I have.

I am from India, and will be applying to US for Fall 2017 admissions. I'll be 35 by then!

Looking for some kind advice and hopefully some personal experience sharing.

Be gentle. And tell me that "money is only important to some extent. You will start earning post Phd. Many have seen worse. That, and to end this perpetual cycle of guilt and self doubt. Grow a pair. By the time you will be 40, you will feel twice as miserable if you dont get through this. You will ruin yourself."

Or whatever you feel is right. I am in perpetual agony.


Thanks.
posted
16-Mar-16, 17:13
by Hugh
Avatar for Hugh
posted about 4 years ago
Why exactly do you want to do a PhD?
posted
16-Mar-16, 19:31
edited about 6 minutes later
Avatar for Tudor_Queen
posted about 4 years ago
Re age - I'm 29 and have just started... some of my colleagues are 35 plus and have just started theirs. No big deal in my department.

I left an incredibly boring job to study and so I've no regrets (but also no family ties or financial issues to reason about).

Good luck with your decision!
posted
17-Mar-16, 02:43
Avatar for Agony_agony
posted about 4 years ago
Thank you for your response Tudor_Queen.

Hugh, the primary reason I want to do PhD is to become an academician and carve out a teaching career. Also I value knowledge and I want to be able to read and write equally well.
posted
17-Mar-16, 08:57
edited about 16 seconds later
Avatar for chickpea
posted about 4 years ago
Hi there
I had some concerns when I read your post, because you have used some very self-critical words and it sounds like you may be very unhappy in your current situation. When that is the case, it is possible to see something else (like a PhD) as a magical escape route that will make everything better. I think only you can make the decision about how important a PhD is to you, but I would encourage you to give some thought to what you will do if you don't get an academic career (most people with PhDs don't). I am not saying don't do a PhD, just try not to pin all your hopes on one thing. There are many possibilities in life and I agree about not staying in sales if it makes you feel so unfulfilled.
posted
17-Mar-16, 09:37
by AOE26
Avatar for AOE26
posted about 4 years ago
You are never too old to do what you dream of (unless you dream of being the under 15 world curling champion). I am 43 and about to start my PhD part time.. I'll be looking at 50 when/if I complete but for me it's not about getting the PhD but the journey. I know a guy doing his PhD at 67.

My decorator has a PhD... He worked for a guy who won a Nobel Prize in Pharmaceuticals but got laid off. You never know what is around the corner.. so don't worry about what you cannot control.

If money is a concern how about getting sponsorship through your job and do a PhD part time? Or get on a part time PhD course and get a job you want to do and get them to sponsor it? It's not expensive because the fees are not huge, you are earning (instead of being a full time non earning student) and companies LOVE to have PhD researchers working for them.
posted
17-Mar-16, 09:44
by pd1598
Avatar for pd1598
posted about 4 years ago
I agree with chickpea. You sound slightly unstable, which isn't a good place to begin a PhD which can cause mental strain. A PhD isn't a magic bullet to financial security, and I wouldn't start a PhD without funding.
posted
17-Mar-16, 09:45
edited about 9 seconds later
by pd1598
Avatar for pd1598
posted about 4 years ago
PS, IMO opinion going part time is the last thing you want to be doing, as it'll take upwards of 6 years to complete.
posted
17-Mar-16, 12:02
edited about 26 minutes later
Avatar for Agony_agony
posted about 4 years ago
Both of you are right when you say I sound unstable. I am unable to analyze the decision rationally and hence the post.

But I dont consider Phd to be a magical escape. I do have other opportunities like another non-sales job if all I wanted was an escape. But valid point. I really want to do a Phd and it may sound flimsy but I value all the knowledge and rigor. That is the reason I have been preparing for it by reading for whatever time I get in the evenings.

My worry is only my family and my age. In India people my age look at their bank balances as a measure of success and I will not be surprised if I am chided for undertaking this "foolish" adventure and forgoing all the dough I can add to my awful bank balance. A colleague was poiting out that I got promoted last year have finally reached a level where I can start saving and investing some money. I am in this trap for the last 10 years and want to get out of it. I am also worried out Phd turning out to be dissapointingly banal as I have very high regard for academicians. I have a masters in management studies.

I thank you all for your kind help. Going with it.

Applying to TA/RA positions at institutions. I have some references from friends who have done or are doing their doctoral. I am told that it adds tremendous advantage to your application. Is it true?

Postgraduate
Forum

Copyright ©2018
All rights reserved

Postgraduate Forum

Masters Degrees

PhD Opportunities

PostgraduateForum is a trading name of FindAUniversity Ltd
FindAUniversity Ltd, 77 Sidney St, Sheffield, S1 4RG, UK. Tel +44 (0) 114 268 4940 Fax: +44 (0) 114 268 5766