New PhD student.... little overwhelmed

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Hi everyone

I started a PhD September 2016. I have anxiety/panic attacks and they got pretty severe, I ended up having to take an interruption and I have just come back to study.

There was a mix up when I started and I never got the module info so I ended up missing the seminars, so I've had no research methods training, no induction or anything. Been told I can do this next year with the first years but my supervisor keeps saying "oh what a shame you missed x, y, z so you're struggling" as if it's my fault.

I sent off for Project Approval last week and not sure I will get it. My supervisor says I'm struggling to sum up my argument and find my academic voice. I have a First class degree and MA, but I worked for a few years before coming back to study so I'm a bit out of practice really.

My supervisor is quite positive/encouraging in meetings, she said I'm getting there and that it's like this for everyone, but then in emails she's critical and she put a snippy comment on one of our meetings, that I need to be more independent and that it's taken me much longer than she expected to improve. I was a little upset that she'd done it this way rather than telling me as if I put a comment up there I need to send it to her for approval first.

Anyway... does anyone have any tips? I just feel isolated and wish there were other students I could discuss my feedback etc with, there's no local research group in my topic so I think I'm going to try and start one but it all feels a bit of an uphill battle right now!

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