I agree that I could continue working with her, but this does not exclude the risk that she can do this again to me and still not write me letters of reference. Moreover, I have developed a state of anxiety every time the mail beeps because of her, which I really cannot handle.
Yes, I can have this new coadvisor be my new advisor, but the university is not happy to get reed of the first one because I have been working for 5 years with the first one, they simply undermine my issue as personal issues among two people, regardless of the fact that she is my advisor and she is using that power against me for issues totally unrelated to work

OK. Will you be publishing papers from your thesis? You could offer the first supervisor co-authorship on any outputs from the thesis, and acknowledgement in the thesis. This would seem a fair suggestion given that she has been your supervisor all this time. But your day to day dealings would be with the new advisor. Could this work?

Hi, classictea,

Happy to know you are 98% done on your thesis. That is exceptionally good.

Primary supervisor: Ok, so I don't know about the supervision laws in your country. However, my understanding is that my choice of supervisors are my rights as it is my PhD project. Can you insist to have the consenting other potential supervisor on board somehow? Beg for the new one to come on board.

Reference: If you can get the new supervisor on board, you can get him to write you your reference letter. Otherwise, I really won't count on your aweful ex-supervisor to write. While not ideal, I managed to get my first job without my supervisor's letter, so perhaps you could too.

Papers - You will have to include your ex-supervisor in there and submit the paper. However, if she causes issues, submit without her. My friend did this as his primary supervisor was blocking his paper on unreasonable and untrue grounds. His paper was accepted in the end.

Your uni can be unhappy about you asking another person to become your primary supervisor. However, you can say that your ex primary supervisor gave up her rights when she withdrew from your project.

And so it is your right to get a new primary supervisor. I do not think that the uni can actually block you from getting a new primary supervisor when your old one actually gave up her position willingly.

So go and get the new one on board. The withdrawal of your former supervisor has worked in your favour, even though it was such a horrid thing for her to do.

That is a good way of looking at it! I guess you need to ask yourself: do I have anything to lose here by asserting my rights?

I spoke to the PhD director, they refuse to change my supervisor, because no one else is available, and also because according to them, there is nothing "big" happening between my advisor and me. Hence, they minimize the way I'm feeling hurt and threatened. They say that she's willing to soften, and hence I should accept this and keep on working with her.

That's exactly what I wanted to do, but the Phd school refuses to find me a new one. I agree that she has only helped me by dropping me, but now that she took it back, it is easier for the PhD school to make me keep working with her, rather than find me a new advisor. So, I'm stuck with her as the PhD school refuses to assign me a new one.

My dissertation papers are already under review and obviously she is co-author in those. This is another main reason why I need her reference letter, because all my projects are with her. If I get a new advisor, she won't write me a reference letter, that's her thing.

So what are your options now would you say?

I have no options, I have to keep struggling and work with my previous advisor. I'll sue the university for this right after I finish the PhD.

PhD schools never find you a new supervisor. You find your own supervisor, So you can't even ask them to use the previous one who consented?

And what do you mean your former supervisor took it back? She can't be your supervisor unless you sign a form taking her back.

I still won't trust her with your reference letter. I have no idea what she will do behind your back.

On sueing, it is very rare that students win. But if you intend to sue, you better start talking to a lawyer so you can start collecting hard evidence before you graduate so you don miss anything.

Are you funded? (Sorry you may have stated this before and I have missed it).

What would happen if you said that you wanted the other supervisor (who has agreed to take you on) and are not willing to work with the old one any longer (full stop - no arguments - no more reasons given - just no)?

In our university, there is no such thing as signing forms. My advisor formally communicated to the whole department and the PhD school that she no longer wants to be my supervisor. 2 days later, she communicated that she is willing to continue being my supervisor. So, for the phd school, all is ok.

Hmmm, I sense a show of power play, that she wanted to cause you misery and "put you in place".

You have spoken to the Students Union as well and they also have nothing to advice you? I would have thought that they could help somehow.

If you have exhausted everything and there really is nothing else that you can do but accept that horrible person as your supervisor, then I guess that's that. Your problem with the reference letter may still continue because there is no guarantee that horrible person will do it for you. Do ensure that during your last few month you make good relationship with some other experienced, established researchers who will be able to write good reference letters and say good things about you. This might be your lifeline in future.

My advice would to focus on getting finished. Unless you have a bottomless pit of money and energy to take legal action, you should forget all about that route.
Get done and move on. Life is too short.