Don't know what to do after I finish my PhD...

Z

Or maybe MPhil incase my PhD is downgraded...

I feel completely lost and unmotivated. Even going to the university career fairs does not strike an iota of interest or curiosity in me. I have been so institutionalised doing my PhD over the past 4 years that I cannot imagine a life outside of academia in the real world. But the thing is, I am not even good enough for academia. I haven't had any publications nor won any awards throughout my PhD. My research has been genuinely subpar as stated by my supervisors, and I haven't been able to make any lasting connections with former colleagues or students. My social life is practically nonexistent because I was unable to make friends. It doesn't matter if I graduate with a PhD or an MPhil in a few months time because I literally have no idea on what to do with my life either way. I don't even have any passions so its futile to follow it. I have been seeing a therapist but its been a useless experience so far. All they do is throw back questions at me as if I am going to have a sudden realisation on what I'm going to do with my life.

Hence what steps are there left for me to take? I'm not looking for the ideal dream job here because I know its largely unrealistic. At this point I'm willing to do any job that is similar to my PhD and does not involve a lot of interaction with people. But thats probably a stupid idea because interaction is very important in the real world. Honestly it feels hopeless even asking for advice here because I know what kind of answers I will get. Hence I apologise for the pretentiousness.

T

Take a break Zen. Sounds like you need it. If you can afford it, then I recommend doing nothing for a while. Eat well, sleep well, exercise and spend time in the sunshine. Travel. Maybe then you will have an improved perspective.

P

What you need to do is buy yourself some time to think.
I have two suggestions.
You could either consider self employment as another option or you could temporarily take a stressfree menial job to cover your bills for a few months.
Right now it sounds like your current lifestyle is not leaving you able to think clearly at all.
You have a 50 to 60 year active life ahead of you assuming you are in your twenties. You are allowed to stop sprinting from time to time.

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