I started my PhD about 6 months ago in the same university where I did my undergraduates. I was really excited at first to be coming back along with quite a few of my friends who decided to also study for a PhD. The first few months were hard admittedly, I wasn't sure what I was doing in terms of experiments however I learned and made good progress.

However lately, I have been particularly feeling down in the dumps and I can't seem to understand why I am feeling like this as I am usually quite optimistic when it comes to situations like these. My latest experiment involves sitting in a dark room alone for hours on end to get some data from my cells. I felt so lonely and isolated however I got the data I needed and have started analysing it. The analysis however seems to take longer than collecting the data, and i've been trying to analyse it for the last few weeks. I am also receiving pressure from my supervisors to show the results but it isn't something I can do overnight when I have no idea what I'm doing. I have a fairly large lab group, and I have gone to different people to ask for help with the analysis, for which I am exceptionally grateful for, but the analysis is also somewhat subjective so most of it has to come from me.

I feel mentally exhausted and sometimes don't want to wake up in the mornings. I feel as if I have sacrificed my own happiness and sanity to give my supervisors what they want so that they are happy. I can't seem to take a break and clear my thoughts - I didn't think that I would feel this way 6 months into my PhD.

On top of that, no one seems to understand how I am feeling - i've tried talking to my boyfriend, friends and family but they all just say the same thing - to take a break and do something else to take your mind of it. I always end up in a tearful mess every single time and I can't seem to relax and take a step back. I'm constantly on edge and feel as though I need to be trying to analyse this data every minute of every day although I know I shouldn't be feeling as though I have to do that. I feel burnt out and its taking a toll on how I function on a daily basis, all of the signs are telling me that I am stupidly stressed out over something which seems so trivial.

I am starting to think that maybe I need help in terms of my mental welfare, for the first time today - I had a panic attack...Is there anyone else out there who has felt the same way as me or someone who can offer me some advice, anything?

I just want to go back to feeling like me again :(

I beleve that you have to speak with your supervisor sincerely , and than the kind of research you make is depressing by itself.

Maybe apply to your university counselling service or local NHS talking therapies service if you have feeling low and experienced a panic attack?

Hi Candyfloss. Sorry you're having such a hard time. It's not unusual for PhD students to suffer from stress, anxiety and depression. Definitely contact the university counselling service because they can give you strategies to help you cope. Better to go now than risk it getting worse. Xx

Hey, thanks for your replies! I think I will do that for sure, I’ve come across a few books and other bits online which have given me a bit of perspective into my situation :) hopefully I’ll feel better soon! Xx

Definitely contact the university counselling service