Not alone?

01-Nov-18, 18:14
edited about 1 second later
Avatar for kate2112
posted about 7 months ago
My PhD is proving to be a VERY isolating process.
Long story short i got a job as a technician at a uni, spent years doing technical support whilst also lecturing, achieving accreditations for my programmes ect (i even worked as interim programme leader until they could get a replacement for the programme leader that left). I got passed over for a teaching post despite my experience as i didn't have a PhD. So i signed up to a part-time one.
Then, one of the Lecturers on our programme left, opening up a post so i applied. i was told i was ideal but they couldn't offer me the post without seeing external candidates. I had to interview twice but was awarded the post, but here's the kick in the gut, with a two year probation and on condition that i pass my MPhil/PhD transfer.
It feels like a rope around my neck, it feels like no matter how hard i work, no matter what i do, no matter how happy my students are, or how much we've progressed up the league tables, i'll never be good enough. My results keep hitting dead ends which isn't helping.
I spend all my time either working on my lectures, supporting students or working on what feels like failing experimental work. My husband completed his PhD shortly after we met (i was studying my masters at the same institution). But even he seems to be struggling to relate. i just need to know that i'm not alone? i need to know that there is hope.
02-Nov-18, 10:19
by eng77
Avatar for eng77
posted about 7 months ago
Hi kate2112. I am sorry for the cruelness of acamdeia. I would tell you shortly my story which is not pleasant by the way. After I did my Master I wanted to do a PhD but could not find one because of difference in fees for EU and international students. I worked as RA and was told I can pursue a PhD at same uni but had to pay about 9000 GBP per years which means I would starve with my wife. I moved then to another country to do a PhD but was unsuccessful due to my own mistakes and poor supervision.
I was told that in academia there is no prospects without a PhD. There are some rare cases who survived permament posts with Master degree. Surprisingly academia is more about research not teaching. I feel your pain. All you can do is to try hard to finish the PhD. Focus more on it and work part time if possible. Try to be positive and hope for the best. Just keep progressing slowly and try to publish some papers. You will do it.
02-Nov-18, 15:08
edited a moment later
by rewt
Avatar for rewt
posted about 7 months ago
Quote From kate2112:
on condition that i pass my MPhil/PhD transfer.

It is only a transfer report, I have seen some awful reports pass the transfer stage. They aren't asking you to complete the PhD, just be good enough to pass that first report. If you pass, you will do something a lot of post-docs will never, get a lecturer job :) Seriously you are doing better than a lot of us here.


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