Dealing with emotional trauma

J

Hi, this is not about me but about my girlfriend who is doing a PhD in a reputed university in Europe. She is an international student with full funding and scholarship. Like most of the international students she came here to learn new things and go back to her country and do something new. She is now into her 3rd yr. But from beginning she doesn't feel like the people around her have answers to specific questions she is asking: about the machine, the aim she has, purpose of doing the measurements she is doing. And rather feels like a race of data generation and then making a story and she isn't alligned to that sort of learning process. And the lab peers around her, they are also not empathetic. Also her supervisor has troubles with other PhD students and post docs (he is a really good human being, but I guess he doesn't know how to handle emotional things with a hope, and rather crumble when things don't go in a certain way, and scares off his PhD students (and specially my girlfriend because she isn't used to such behavior if a small thing goes wrong, unlike me). It also caused trouble in our relationship, lots of misunderstanding, judgements. I left my job back and started my PhD last year in UK, so that I can be around. But it's a really painful to see her getting lost and slowly drifting away from real research rather than cooking, hanging around with friends, locking herself inside a room, and only attending and doing things that she is already good at. But isn't the PhD supposed to be learning new things but now it's become a survival for her and just get through that period. And importantly dumping a PhD at this stage seems a bad option as it might end in 2years time (if her supervisor wants to). She wants me to go there and stay, which is near to impossible since I have commitments here. What to do? Please suggestt

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