Whether to Present or not at a conference where my ex-supervisor's collaborator there?

posted
28-Apr-19, 17:55
edited about 9 seconds later
by monkiaa
Avatar for monkiaa
posted about 4 months ago
I am highly interested in attending a conference focus on my field, however, I am afraid to attend as my ex-supervisor collaborator are going to be present as they working on the same point of research I am working on, moreover, when I was forced to leave I went to aloof country and then resigned from this lab whose director is also going to present a lecture, when I resigned I didn't tell them what my plans. Now the question: my current employer does not know anything about all these stories as they didn't ask and I am hesitated to go because I am afraid they could fabricate stories about me, I feel trapped because I want to attend and at the same time I am afraid to go because of my ex-supervisor collaborator who vowed me you cannot make any success in what you are doing. If you were in my position, should I forget attendance for a couple of time until they forget me or go and face them normally?
posted
28-Apr-19, 18:43
Avatar for Tudor_Queen
posted about 4 months ago
Hello, my immediate thought would be to attend. Why should they stop you from attending. But I don't fully understand the detail of what you are saying. What are the actual risks of you attending? Is the worst thing that they could gossip about you / make up something negative about you? To whom? And what would the impact of that be? If you have a good relationship and can be open with your current employer then I should think that they would know you and trust you, and thus their view of you wouldn't be altered by some silly gossip. I may have misunderstood the situation though. Will your employer be present, and is she or he a collaborator of your ex supervisor? Just trying to understand better.
posted
28-Apr-19, 19:29
by monkiaa
Avatar for monkiaa
posted about 4 months ago
Yes, I am afraid that they would gossip or tell negative things about me actually my ex-supervisors collaborator is racist and xenophobic and he destroyed me by affecting on my supervisor to dismiss me assuming that my work isn't important. The idea is the project I am working on I am cooperating also with other people who already also have a common project with this ex-collaborator. I am afraid they would tell them my story, my current employer did not know that because he did not ask and as you may know I have been rejected many times because of this story and those people that's why I am afraid and in the same time I don't know to when I have to hide or just be audacious and go that my question.
posted
28-Apr-19, 21:20
edited about 1 second later
Avatar for Tudor_Queen
posted about 4 months ago
Hi, I'm sorry but I don't remember what your story is. I think the bottom line is, if you think that they really have the power to do you harm if they see you at the conference and then speak with your current employer, you should avoid going. That's just pragmatic. It's important to protect yourself. That said, I really don't know the situation. If you think you can ignore it or defend yourself and if you think your current employer will pay more attention to you than to them, then maybe you should go. After all, you can't let this fear / them make you miss out on opportunities etc. And once you've faced them once it will be done with and easier next time. But if you think it's too great a risk at this stage / asking for trouble, then don't go.

I've just thought of one more thing. Could you actually inform your current employer about it, ie. that you know x, and that there was a bit of a misunderstanding? Then at least you will have made that clear already, and so you won't be so worried about what might be said at the conference?

Just to say - I understand a bit where you're coming from. I had a negative situation where I was scared of the harm my former supervisors could do me. It's a horrible situation to be in. These things can end well though, I'm glad to say. And decent people - that is, people who are actually worth working with - can see through gossip / slander or at least give the benefit of the doubt until they form their own opinions.

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