Hi everyone! It's almost one and a half year that I'm really working hard to find a PhD but, since now, I only failed and I'm feeling I should quit searching because I'm not good enough ... But what else should I do in my life?? I'm feeling as a living failure.. I'm reallt sorry to always come here and complain but it's a very difficult time for me, I'm lost..

Hi Mako, I have couple of unrelated points to make in response to your post.

Firstly as with anything getting onto phd programme can be partly a matter of luck. having said that there a few things that can help your application..
1) good undergrad (good gpa)
2) masters with research experience (ideally a research thesis where you go a decent grade)
3) actual research experience.... so if you are finding it hard to get on PhD programme getting a job as research assistant where you learn research skills and have practical experience is great to improve your chances of getting accepted but will also be invaluable experience should you actually pursue a PhD.
4) presenting research at student conferences is also nice to have on your cv.

Aside from all this practical advice there is one thing that stood out from your post.... firstly you labelled it 'always fail' and you seem to be taking it very personally and getting emotionally down about not finding a suitable programme yet..... this sort of staking your value as a person and your self-esteem on academics (something I have been guilty of) is really not a good mental attitude to have if you are going to be a PhD student and later, academic. it leads to taking things too personally and subsequent stress. depression and burn out. and perfectionism and procrastination.
Nobody's worth as person is defined by doing a PhD.... very few people do a phd and plenty of smart successful people have exiting fulfilling meaningful lives doing other things....
Your focus seems to narrow and it seem like (to me) you can't see the woods (life) from the trees (this short term aim of doing a Phd). ....

sorry if I am guilty of interpreting your post from my own experiences.... maybe you don't feel this applies to you, so if doesn't just ignore it.

Hi newlease36, thank you for the advices! I have a quite good academic curriculum, maybe I should really start searching for research assistant vacancy...
Anyway you are completely right!! During my past academic years (and also now with this PhD thing) I based my self-esteem on my academic results, which is not a healthy thing as you said.. Thank you for your message, it is very helpful!! I know that a PhD is not everything, but I think that it is good to hear it from someone else that has been through the same things..