Wow, I can't even begin to express how much I've appreciated all your feedback!!! Thank you so much.

I'm sorry it took me a while to respond but those 12 hour days are killing me.

I've taken a step back and looked into the situation from a bigger perspective, and that has helped me a lot. I know some of you have told me to quit, but that really isn't an option for me. I think that in the long run, I would regret putting these last 4 years into the garbage. For all the hassle to be worth it, I need that degree!

I'm happy to say that with my 12 hour days these past few months, I've finally managed to make my project work. I'm quite happy about that. I also gathered up enough courage to speak with my supervisor and inform her that I would like to leave within a year. Having an end in sight makes it all that much easier.

Again, I really can't than you all enough. You gave me that push to be open, and look at the situation differently. Thank you - you're all angels :)

Hi all,

I'm writing this today in hopes of finding someone who has maybe felt the same way during their degree and who can offer some help..

I'm in my 4th year of my PhD and I am losing my mind. 4 years ago, my supervisor pretty much forced me into a project that I didn't want. I tried to argue my way out of it, but all she said was "finish it, and then you can do whatever you like". I tried to do it for 3 years and kept failing (no one in our entire department has any experience in this century old technique). I had tried within these three years to get out of it, but that never worked. Seeing as to how I was always an excellent student, you can imagine what constant failure for 3 years and no support from my supervisor did to my confidence. She always blames me for things not working and thinks I am just a royal F***-up, which is not the case. Anyhow, recently I feel like I'm going in circles. She gives everyone in the lab amazing opportunities, and me, nothing. I have zero papers, and have been to only 2 local conferences (she won't let me go anywhere international since I have nothing interesting to present), and am extremely depressed. I've tried approaching her in the past to tell her how I'm feeling but she just laughs at me, tells me that I'm not made for science, and calls me a cry baby(I've only cried TWICE in front of her).

I am losing every droplet of sanity I've got. I am now at a point of no return where I cry at least once a day, and I literally have nowhere and nobody to turn to. I can't speak to my supervisor, my parents think that there's no such thing as depression and in fact believe that I'm to blame regarding why I'm not done yet and why I have no papers, I've lost all my friends because I close myself off and now have no social life (I used to be a social butterfly.. my phone NEVER stopped ringing :(), and although my boyfriend is the sweetest guy and is always listening to me and encouraging me, I'm tired of always complaining to him.

I truly don't know what to do. I've never been a depressed person, and I've never considered hurting myself. But, for the last few months, I keep hoping I get hit by a car, fall off the subway tracks, or simply not wake up from my sleep because I'm so overwhelmed and tired of it all.

I don't know what to do and feel like I'm just this robot who goes to lab 12 hours a day in the hopes of making this project from hell work, and I can't do it anymore....I hate feeling like I'm worthless and like the world wouldn't matter without me. I hate the fact that my parents are not supporting me and think I'm being a child. And I hate the fact that I have no confidence left in myself and feel like I'm bad at everything I do.

Please help me :'(