Hi Rebel

If you do a search on this forum you will find a number of posts on this topic.

In my opinion, PhD study is what I call "Depression-ogenic" (i.e. causes feelings of depression) because it is frustrating, lonely and difficult. Also, PhD study attracts bright, intense sorts of people, and I think these are often the sorts of people prone to depression.

You are doing well to find the sorts of things that work for you, such as exercise and counselling and so on. One of the nuggets of advice that I took from this forum, I would post the link if I could find it, was that if you do suffer from depression and you are going to study for a PhD, to grab whatever support you can find that works for you, be that talking therapy, medication, exercise, reading self-help books, yoga...whatever...I try to see depression as an obstacle but not a barrier and to take active steps not to let it get on top of me.

During my MSc I was struggling quite a lot so I went to the Director of Postgraduate Studies for my department and explained everything. He was not directly involved in my course so was able to give some more practical advice. Regarding the prospect of losing your place and the depression affecting your studies, what he said to me was, that account cannot be taken for difficulties retrospectively. So if I did not achieve the required grade in my MSc assessments, and subsequently told the course director that I had been having difficulties, the grade could not have been altered to account for this, but if I told the course director early, then this could be taken into account in the assessment process. It might be worth finding out whether a similar procedure operates where you are? I didn't have to tell the MSc course director the specific details but I had the support of the GP and was able to say that the GP could submit evidence of extenuating circumstances, if these were needed.

If you don't want to ask your Director of Postgraduate Studies, the councilor might know the procedure where you are?

Good luck with it all, you are definitely not alone!

Ejc x

I have wanted to be, variously, an Olympic swimmer, a Radio DJ, a high-powered businesswoman with seven children, a biochemist, a medic, and a researcher.

I have a few still to go, including Yoga instructor. (That's my current back-up plan, if this scientist thing doesn't work out...)

What aspect?/What software?

I went for re-gifting. Alternatively sharing with fellow PhDers is a good one...perhaps send to the PGF team as a thank-you?

Pass my upgrade. (MPhil student status-> PhD student status)

I had a go with those two search engines, and found less than I find via Google. *shrugs*

Not quite the same, but I once spotted someone who posted on here, posting on a different forum. I messaged them to ask if they were the same person...and they were...I don't know them at all, but the posts on the two forums (under different names) were similar in style and content.

I found this quite spooky - I wasn't actively stalking but made the connection. It made me wary of my own non-anonymity.

(((hugs)))

Hi Maria

Just wanted to say, things aren't that bad. Many people have gotten drunk at parties and regretted it the next day. What happened is almost uncertainly a bigger deal in your mind than in anyone else's.

I really know the "so mortified I want to die" feeling, as no doubt do many others. I hope that in a few days you will feel a less terrible! Also the "so mortified I want to die" feeling is so much worse when you are still hungover (I'm making an assumption here!) - when you feel a bit better you mind be less harsh on yourself.

Hang in there!

ejc x

I'm not an expert, but...what do you mean by "OK" ? Are you able to give any more details about what it is you are modelling the relationship between?

Bummer - we will probably find the same problem as you then.

I do agree that it is frustrating when people in a poorer financial position that you are now have been given large loans in the past.

(And I agree that putting in an offer if you don't have an Agreement in Principle is not on - we weren't planning to do that!)