'Broccoli nut? Broccoli nut!? I can't stand broccoli nut,' roared the captain and dumped the Broccoli nut party in the deepest part of the ocean.

as it floated down into the depths, it met david cameron. "What are you doing here?!" the broccolli nut asked cameron...

...where they got swallowed by a giant broccoli eating squid...

But the squid promptly vomited them back up because it was allergic to nuts (and dodgy politicians)

Unfortunately, their ordeal wasn't yet over as just then a huge shark started making their way towards them...

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From the insides of the giant squid Dave managed to squeak 'I agree with Nick!' before the Nick, the very giant shark, swallowed up the giant squid.

suddenly a TORNADO appeared

(no doubt formed by the large quantities of Clegg/Cam hot air, meeting the cold front of the voting public)

...and many of the ballot papers (containing rhubarb crumble recipes on the back) were swept up in the vortex...

... and everybody agreed that the election should be abandoned and from now on the UK should be ruled by an elite of PhD students - and rhubarb-eating pigs.

however the pigs and the phds disagreed strongly on a fundamental point....

... what was the more appropriate approach to analysing the election which didn't happen: interpretative phenomenological analysis or grounded theory.

but Tory Tortoise had other ideas

...but these ideas were locked in dream land, as Tory Tortoise was yet to awake from hibernation, in his den inside the duck house, next to the helicopter pad, which was behind Tory Manor...

Suddenly a hare popped into Tory Tortoise's den nibbling on some crunchy carrots...