thanks for the support, its been really good to have yr help. i think maybe writing a letter is a good idea, i'm wary of meeting her and just blurting it out as the pressure of feeling like i have expectations of her is too much for her right now. i guess all i can do is hang in there and hope that she still loves me and that it shines a light on the darkness of her present confusion

Hang in there! I recommend not blurting things out when she's likely to be stressed, but I know how difficult that is (I'm not a bottler-upper and tend to let it all out which in stressful situations rarely helps... apart from making me feel offloaded a little). Must be difficult with her so close. Anything you can try to do to take your mind of her? Try and go out with friends more in the evenings. Vent frustrations with exercise... squash is great!

i will hang on in there...i think its the only hope i have it is hard as the only real reason i am in this city is her and there are literally memories on every corner. i just hope she realises that the phd is a significant stressor and is able to give us a chance to sort things out...good advice on the exercise, tryin to avoid drowning my sorrows, squash is definitely a better idea!