Hi all!

I’ve just spent a while looking through some 'I want to quit' threads. They were really interesting, reassuring and useful but none of the ones I read exactly matched my situation so thought I'd join up to try and get some personalised advice!

My background is in Psych (BSc, MSc Health). I had 3 years out between undergrad and postgrad doing nothing related to Psych! I worked in a bar for 18 months, travelled for 5 months then worked in call centre for a year waiting to start my MSc. After finishing my MSc (2010) I worked as survey assistant for 6 months and part-time in call centre again. I was applying for permanent RA jobs but getting nowhere (other folk more experienced etc.) so when survey assistant ended (Mar 2011) I was left working in the call centre. The job search continued and I began applying for PhDs. I never gave much consideration as to what this would entail, largely applying due to being unsuccessful in job search and thinking hey I've been successful in uni so far, may as well do a PhD. With hindsight I should have investigated the PhD option in more depth!

In June 2011 I got 3 years funding so spent summer working full time in call centre. I began my PhD in Oct 2011 and early on (before Christmas) began thinking PhD wasn’t for me. As I’ve continued it’s becoming clearer, I have much less interest in getting a job in academia post-PhD now I actually have an understanding of what it involves i.e. constant search for external funding, temporary contracts, lack of value placed on family life etc. I feel like I’m wasting time, that PhD is a pointless path if I don’t want to pursue a career in academia. Lately I’ve been so stressed too, I do long hours but am unproductive. I have low motivation (worrying as I proposed my own topic I thought would hold my interest), poor concentration and am behind of schedule. I had a holiday which thought would offer new perspective after chill out but things are worse! I know this is common esp in 1st year but I’m worried the emotional cost of PhD is too high - I also have some problems sleeping and in general have been unhappy and moodier since I began.

My concern is making a decision I regret, that perhaps I’m making excuses for myself so I can talk myself out of it. I don't think that's it though as I've never shied away from hard work before! I see the pros to staying as: prestige of Dr status, personal achievement, avoid failure, won’t let DOS/uni down. These reasons don’t seem valid enough to continue! However, I feel limited as to what I would do even with my MSc as most folk go into research or clinical psych from there (which I don't have experience for). I can see myself ending up back at a call centre but then that mightn’t be so bad if I found one in which I could progress. What I hated about it before was the feeling of ‘I should be doing more with my qualifications’ but at least I could say I tried!
I would be grateful for any words of wisdom/advice or support. Thanks!

Hi Jampie,

I’ll try and offer my thoughts on what you’ve said, though I’m sure there’s other people on here who can be more directly useful to you. Having read many of the ‘I want to quit’ threads myself, the most immediately important advice people give is that if you are going to quit, you should stay with what you’re doing - while you’ve got funding – until you find yourself something else you want to do, and another source of income.

I’m coming to the end of my second year now, and had some similar feelings twelve months ago: for a long time I’d wanted to do a PhD (admittedly unlike in your case) because I actively wanted to be an academic, but then after starting doctoral study came to have a better understanding of what the academic job entails and no longer think it’s really for me. At times I find it hard to be motivated for my project as while on the one hand I enjoy my subject and find it quite fun, on the other hand I don’t really ‘believe’ in it having any value as a project other than that it will lead to a PhD, something which is no longer as important to me. However, the reason I’ve decided not to quit is because I’m seeing this time instead as a useful period for really getting to know myself and what I want out of life. In my case I’ve made the decision that I really want to be a secondary teacher – out of the different parts of the academic job which my PhD is allowing me to practice, teaching is what I really enjoy, and I think I would prefer the more structured career path, and I love working with young people. I’m just telling you my example because I’d suggest that, when you’re in a situation of not knowing what you want from the future, the security of being mid-PhD could actually be quite productive?

My decision to change direction means that I can, to a small extent, alter my work commitments to improve my chances of the career change: occasional and part time work with young people, and taking on more teaching and teacher-training type activities within my department. As you said you’d chosen your own project, would there be any scope for you to - within your research - start exploring other related non-academic options, or arrange some experiences that might help you decide what you want to do? You say for example that most people go into clinical psych but you don’t have the experience for it, sorry I don’t know anything about the field, but would you be able to do anything within your research to get you more exposed to that area, so that you could then decide whether you wanted to bother getting experience to open that route for you or whether that still doesn’t inspire you either?

I agree with you that the pros you list as reasons to continue don’t really seem valid enough to keep you doing something you don’t enjoy – and I really believe you shouldn’t stay in anything that makes you miserable – but with your uncertainty on the other hand as to what you’d rather do, could there be a way of making this PhD work for you in other ways than just the academic? If so, maybe staying on for six or twelve months more would give you a clearer idea, after which point you could just quit anyway or, if after all you’d changed your mind about the value of the qualification, maybe even stay on and see it out?

Anyway, hope those thoughts have some logic to them, even if the idea doesn’t work for you. All the best with whatever you decide
(up)

Cheers,

Maccle

This is very good advice and would encourage you to take it.

I wasn't fussed on my PhD (even BEFORE I started) but completed it. I did it largely because I couldn't get a job and wanted the funding to clear my debts (which it did). I've been looking for a job for over a year now (before and since I completed the PhD) and have exhausted many avenues, written to many, many people and submitted many, many applications. I think I've only had 5 interviews and all but one were for research assistant posts.

Do what you feel is right for you but even with a PhD it can be difficult to get a basic research post. If you do decide to leave, please don't until you have something to go to. The only person you owe anything to is yourself and so do what you want.

======= Date Modified 25 Jun 2012 09:36:15 =======
You've had good advice here already, but just to highlight again:

Do not leave until you have something else lined up.

I know the other two have said it already, I'm saying it again because it really is important!

The other thing is that you could do what I do and what I know Delta did. Work 9-5 on the PhD and leave it at the office like a job. Plenty of people do jobs they don't like and by doing this you are no different to them. Still look for other things, but if you can completely separate the PhD from the rest of your life it will reduce the stress a bit! This is just a suggestion, doesn't work for everyone and not everyone would even find it helpful. I just find that (even though I like my work) I can switch off from work completely in the evenings and at weekends and that is great. You don't need to do more than a good 9-5 to get the work done in most cases anyway.

Thanks so much for your replies :) Theres been some really good advice which I have taken on board and todayy actually feel a bit more motivated about my situation. Even in the 9 months I've been doing the PhD for so far I've learnt a great deal about myself - strengths and weaknesses! - and this can never be a bad thing as you mentioned Maccle. Although I still feel uncreatin about a career in academia, given the lack of other options out there, there is a certain degree of security about staying on and at least seeing the funding out (and obviously hopefully get the PhD in as close to that time period as possible)! I hadnt thought of trying to gain experience in my PhD that could be useful for a clinical psych application so thanks for that offering. Now I think about it the PhD qualification could actually be a stepping stone in itself into that if I decided I did want to pursue that line of career.

I'm sorry that you're having such a tough time of it trying to find a job Delta. What was your PhD in? Fingers crossed it won't be long until somebody grabs you up!

Finally, the 9-5 thing is what my supervisor has always encouraged me to do. This would work if I procastinated less and really made every minute in those 8 hours count! Theres a woman in my office who has 2 children and has to work to very strict timescales, because of this she is actually very productive, incredibly more so than myself and one of the other guys in my office who have less committments outside of uni thus have less pressure in some sense. I find I work best to targets and although I try and set them for myself it's hard to take them seriously sometimes. Another thing I will need to learn to do! Separating work and personal life is something I have definitely struggled with so think I will try to do the whole 9-5 thing again for at least 2 weeks and see if that alleviates some stress.

Thanks once again for your input, it's been great! I think I'll plough on and hope that my new found motivation will last a while :)

screamingaddabs was right in what he/she said about me. Very honestly, I just viewed it as a job I didn't particularly like but considered myself lucky to be getting a regular income in a tough climate and it was great being able to pay off my debts. I think being detached from the PhD helped me because although I didn't experience any of the highs people talk about, I didn't experience any real lows because I wasn't emotionally attached to the project. My frustration and stress stemmed solely from what I considered to be poor supervision. Also because I knew I wasn't prepared to do it without funding, I was determined to finish it in three years. I worked nowhere near as hard as most people but when I worked I was completely focussed and just got on with it. I was also very lucky in that I didn't feel guilty when I wasn't working on the project and was able to forget about it. My major source of stress came at the viva and in doing the corrections afterwards.

Just to add that a further tool for productivity is http://mytomatoes.com/ (it's been mentioned on these boards a few times)

It basically is just a timer that times 20 minutes. For those 20 minutes you work solidly (force yourself to do so). You then get 5 minutes of complete break (force yourself not to work for the 5 minutes). You then do 20 more minutes, then another 5 minute break etc.

I usually do 20 mins, then 5 break , then 20 work , then 5 break, then 20, then 15 break. You'd be amazed how much you do only working 1 hour out of 1 hour and 25 minutes, but because you focus properly for the full hour you really fly through the work, and because you have regular breaks you don't feel that you are working all that hard.

Hope that helps - Even if you don't stay on with the PhD it may make the time you do spend doing it more manageable.