cc- that's a good point- i think it is a good idea to meet my supervisor to go over everything again.

lara- it's good to hear that i was not the only one to have experienced severe depression, feelings of inadequacy and so on. Like missspacey said, its such a shame that some academics can be so unapproachable- it would make a phd much more bearable if they were a bit nicer. Things would have seemed so much better had i discovered this excellent forum when i first started the phd, rather than at the end of my 2nd year when it all started to unravel..

Hey Angie

When you write it sounds like you have the enormous mountain to climb. your sup has said to do two hours a day and you say you must, MUST do more. These thoughts are not healthy!! Do two hours, then stop. Doing a PhD is sooooo hard and you seem to talk like it should be easy and you are rubbish for not being able to meet the challenge at the click of a finger. I suffer depression too, though episodal not chronic and sympathise with your predicament. I am also always very unsure and underconfident and always feel like a fraud. However, I think these issues are 'me' and also so much of what may make me able to work at such a high standard. What I am saying is, I have really tried to turn something potentially debilitating into having a 'point', you know? You can do it Angie! but ONLY, only if you want to. If you don't want to you can work out what transferable skills you have and get a great CV. Good luck x

Hi Angie,
I just felt I wanted to post a reply, coz although I haven't taken time off, I'm really struggling with serious depression right now, and almost had a breakdown today. I feel like I have very little support, and nothing but loads of pressure from my supervisor, and like a few people mentioned here, also feel really intimidated by academics, as well as other students who I feel all seem to know more than me, and at least can talk about their own topic. I don't feel I can say anything about mine. All I can tell people is the title!
It really helped me actually to read that other people have felt the same, I don't feel quite so alone now.

(cont'd) I suppose I'm not really in a position to offer any advice, but all I can say is good luck, and wish you all the best, whatever you decide. Remember there's a whole world out there beyond academia, which is probably a)less stressful b) will give you a higher income and c)will offer more long-term security. So only go back to the phd if you're doing it coz you really want to.

Good luck!

No worries Angie, I wish you best of luck!
I had been in a similar situation before. I started my PhD in 2003 with a most cruel and malicious professor anyone can ever meet, I dropped out in 2005, I just couldn't take anymore insults, depression and horrible thoughts. I was devastated, PhD was and is my aim and did not know what to do, my supervisor spoiled my reputation in my department. However, then I believed, I will not give up, I wanted to fight everything that comes my way even my own discouraging thoughts and started my second PhD in 2005. I struggled quiet a bit, to build my reputation back in the same department, but I did it and still going through the tough/struggling process.

Current Supervisor is a understanding person but I have to still go through the ups and downs of PhD. I cannot forget my previous PhD bad experiences but I just say myself “I want to finish PhD and I will”. I blocked out myself from what people say about me. My only focus is complete my PhD. So, I wish you all the best in your next steps.
Furthermore, to all my PhD fellows just be focused, these feeling of depression, rejection, and hopelessness is just temporary, and we can beat it. “Focus” is the key word. Just wanted to share my thoughts, gl