Worried that I've irritated my supervisor before even starting...

N

I'm finishing my MSc at the moment and trying to prepare for PhD life, I start in October this year, at the same university, with three supervisors who I get on well with. Although I have a place I need to write a proposal as a formality, that needs to be in by next Wednesday. Two of my supervisors are writing references for me, and the other one agreed to look over my proposal, she said she was really looking forward to it. I emailed her a draft version last night - I have never written a proposal before so I told her what I knew the weak areas were and what I was most concerned about.

She emailed me back this afternoon and I don't think she liked it very much, she is fine with what I am doing, but it does not read exactly like a proposal at the moment, basically some areas need expanding, and I need to be more explicit about what my PhD will actually be doing. It wasn't that bad, and I guess nothing I write is going to be perfect first time, is it normal to have quite a few amendments to make before submitting a first proposal? I feel a bit deflated really, like I'm not cut out to do a PhD if I can't even get this bit right :-(

Natassia xx

D

Natassia, don't be so hard on yourself! Writing a proposal is far from straightforward - it sounds as if she's given you pointers how to refine it, so go with those. It may take a few refinements until it's just right, nobody would expect it to be perfect straight off!

C

Don't worry, my proposal for a phd went through 3 seperate drafts before I was given a place. The end thesis is totally different except in the road subject area.

B

I agree with the others. She's giving you good advice about improving your proposal. So take that advice and act on it. Don't view it negatively. And you're going to have to deal with much more of this sort of thing when you start the PhD. So start on the right track now.

E

I think it sounds perfectly normal - if we already knew everything about how to do research, write formal proposals etc right from the start of the PhD process, we wouldn't need supervisors! I'm sure it's absolutely normal and in fact desirable for the proposal to go through several iterations, with some advice and 'constructive criticism' from the supervisor - in fact if you didn't get any suggestions for improvement at all, it would be likely your supervisor wasn't doing a good job.

I can imagine just how you feel though. I often feel quite insecure and worried about what people think of me, and any criticism or less-than-100% positive comment on my work tends to confirm my fears that they think I'm stupid or lazy or incapable. But I know that's something I need to work on getting over :(

N

Thank you all for the replies - I think I'm going through a learning curve here as I'm developing my new identity as a PhD student (as my department seem to see it) and adjusting to the new ways of working and being evaluated. I know I should worry less about criticism, and it will make me much better as a result, in time for writing it all up!

Chris that's really interesting about the finished thesis differing a lot from the proposal - I never really thought of that before. Hope you're getting on ok.

She's just sent me a nice email telling me that it really wasn't that terrible and that this was all part of the process, so not so worried now, just want to get my application done and dusted so that I can enjoy my dissertation!

Nxx

K

Hey Natassia! Really, this is nothing to worry about! Every single thing I write has to go through drafts and re-drafts and this is the same for everyone! I actually wrote my proposal with my sup, if I was on my own with it I would have been a bit lost as to exactly what was expected as well- at the end of the day from beginning to end the PhD is a learning curve. One thing I have had to learn to do (and most of us have to) is to take criticisms and comments without getting upset or taking them personally, or feeling like I'm a disappointment etc, and it takes a while to get used to it. Just recently I was joking with my sup about the amount of 'constructive' feedback she gives me (oceans of the stuff) and she said she saw me as a colleague, not as a student, and therefore didn't piss about with all this 'start with a positive comment, suggestions in the middle, and end on a positive' stuff! Sometimes I wish she did! But seriously, I am so grateful for all the feedback she gives me- she really does spend lots of time going through my work with a fine toothcomb and that's how you learn. I would rather have it this way than have a supervisor who really doesn't care, so try to see it as a good thing! You'll be fine, I reckon you'll take to your PhD like a duck to water! Best, KB

Avatar for sneaks

yup, this actually means she really wants you to do the PhD - she wants to make sure the proposal is accepted and she is starting out supervising you already, by giving you the feedback to start honing your PhD writing skills.

If she didn't like you she just wouldn't reply, like my sup, D'oh!

N

Thank you KB and Sneaks - very reassuring! I do get on really well with this supervisor, probably more than the others so I think that in time we will develop a good working relationship. Since she has started to supervise me rather than just be another tutor offering advice, she has been more of a taskmaster type person and is pushing me more, which of course is what I want PhD supervision to be about. I can't wait to start, I hope I do take to it like a duck to water!

I hope your supervisor gets back in contact with you soon Sneaks, that must be very frustrating.

E

I have to agree with all the others.
I had to do several rafts before my proposal was accepted and sent to the Research Committe.
If she has given you guidelines, then it should be easier to do it again (or rathre correct your first version of it).
Good luck!!!!!!!!

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