Thank you! It was especially gruesome for me as I had to break the news to six people (bosses, supervisors etc) - very character forming....!
During the two weeks my main worries have been unemployment in future and lack of income. But when I speak to anybody about this, I realise that first and foremost I can't pretend to be somebody I'm not - research doesn't suit me and following through with this would be a waste of my short life. Even if I'm unemployed come November (hope not!) I know this is the right decision. It does take a lot of guts to quit/defer, especially considering the stigma attached to quitting a PhD... then add on top of that bills, fear of unemployment, people telling you to keep doing it (just a bad spell - I don't think so..!).. it's a draining experience. I do feel, however, that I'll benefit more from this decision than if I decided to stay on and keep doing it. Maybe not in a monetary sense... but I'm young enough with no real responsibilities... I decided to take the plunge, be one of those people who change careers/do something others would find radical - very scary but I can't wait to see now what the future holds for me. And I'm so very glad that it wont be anything to do with academia!!

Bump.

So I had the first meeting with my supervisor since the last incident. He seemed pretty understanding. To cut a long story short, I could still pull through if I changed the way I work towards this thing - but deep down I'm more of a team worker than an academic researcher, and there's no shame in that. More than likely, I will continue to work for the company until the end of the year, write a report on the work and leave with a strong MSc. After that who knows - I will likely be putting in applications in the run up to the end of the year. It feels like a load's been liften off already..

Sorry to hear about yuor situation! You might want to check out my epic thread, entitled 'Seriously Thinking About Quitting' - it should be in the first few pages of this forum. I'll try and send a private message at some point. Just note that things are never as bad as they seem - there's no sense in beating yourself up over it. Trust me... Some people just aren't suited to a PhD, and I am one of them!

Nobody really cares - and if they do, they're not the sort of people you should be talking to/working for. 2:1 is perfectly fine. I got a 1st from Edinburgh uni, absolutely blazed through my undergrad - but nobody gives too much consideration to your grade, it's more about work experience and what sort of person you are. Now I'm 2 years into a PhD and quitting - things are never as bad as you might think.

So Dave - no reply as yet... how are you getting on??

Update - I may be looking at deferring to an MSc whilst until the end of the year being employed by my company (probably on lower pay but hey) to finish the project. This would give me time to look for something else and continue in work. Could be a good option - will see!

Good point about the 'aimless nature of the PhD' - this is also how I feel. Before it was always target this and target that. This is why I think I prefer work - work with targets!!!!

Cult thread lol!

I had last week off which was both great and horrible. Good in the sense that I was away from it all - but bad in that I was tossing things up in my head all the time!

My company have been very supportive - basically have said I should do what's right for me. I still think the project is doomed to failure, but it's actually not THAT bad here... I wish I'd just taken the job rather than the PhD with the company.

I have yet ANOTHER week to think things through (at least I think so). Finally got in touch with my girlfriend who is fully supportive no matter what I do. Most people seem to think I should stick it if at least for the money - but if I do, could you imagine the furore if I went through all of this again...?

There isn't much in the way of jobs around here, which is a bummer. Definitely decided to stay close to my girlfriend so that limits career options. But I don't care as long as we're together. Honestly, I think I've been stressing out more about being unemployed than staying on the doctorate. I am definitely more suited to work life than academia. If I could I would defer to MSc and work for the company but that may not be an option - I am going to ask my boss. I'm not quite fit enough yet for the police which is a bummer - and that's chancing it as if I don't get in who knows what I'd do. Part of me feels like staying on - the company is good, the team is great. But that's from a work-perspective. It's the academic side I'm not overly keen on still... So I guess I have to make a choice after next week. I bet you're all biting your fingernails in anticipation lol! The best situation, as I said, would be for me to simply work for the company without going through with the doctorate. There has been no moment of clarity where I've thought 'this is the right decision' so that's been a bit of a bummer. It is SO much harder getting a new job when you're unemployed as opposed to when you're currently in one.

I don't know what else to say..

Honestly... right now when it hits the dead of night is when I'm at my weakest. Right now I would probably say 'I'll stay on' just for the money. God, that sounds awful. I feel horrible just saying it. But then I would also feel horrible about saying 'I quit!'.. more from a financial perspective.
Gah.

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Just read your letter - I believe it cut off due to a word limit? Unless you're typing it...



Anyway, I totally understand where you're coming from. Sounds like we're in the same boat. It's the unemployment factor which really scares me. I would have 2 months of MSc work left, so I could look around then.. but grad jobs takes MONTHS to get, if you're lucky, and even then they might not start for months on end. Most people say work is just as bad - I feel it is so much more personal with a PhD. I feel like I'd be cheating myself and everybody else if I kept on - motivation is key and if the work isn't getting done, then chances are nothing may come of it. Part of me feels I should man up and see it through, get some money behind me and try not to be a financial burden on friends & my girlfriend. If only I had something else right now. But now that it's out in the opan, I can't stay on and then quit in the future - it will have to be total commitment. What a horrible situation. I know it's not doing any good for my health - I stress out all the time. Like you say, there a re good days. And then there are horrendous days...! My biggest regret is not getting a 'job'... although if I'd done that I would never have met my girlfriend, who means everything to me. I have never faced anything so gut-wrenching. My financial self tells me to do the two and a half years and then look for something near the end. Can you imagine if it all went wrong, though... andlack of motivation led to no doctorate at the end! Again, sometimes I wonder if I make things worse than they are.. I don't think so :D I know I'm not as interested in this as others - I want to get home at reasonable hours - I'm too sociable - I can't see myself forever keeping up with technology - I can't dent the feelings I've been having - I could go on.



Question is... when it comes to crunch time, what will the decision be..?



I feel I've burnt so many bridges now..

Cottonwood - I have yet to read the replies to this thread. I will do so now. I see you're online... I'm up right now worrying like hell. Most folks are now saying I should stay on for the money - being unemployed is terrible etc. This is an awful decision and I have to make it tomorrow, one way or another............ I shall read the replies now.

Unfortunately, I'm company-sponsored and what I'm doing is absolutely critical to the company... so they need to know this week what I want to do so that they can possibly re-assign somebody else to my project - there's a tight deadline on this thing and it would also be crucial for the PhD. So for future reference - I CANNOT take time out on this... :)
One friend is telling me I have no major financial obligations, so just go for something else (easier said than done!) whilst others are telling me to keep doing it since as unhappy as I may be, I will always need some money coming in. I have thought of seeing it through and then switching to something else - this would give me a VERY good financial backing. However that's two more years in something I'm not thrilled about, getting more and more pigeon-holed. However I would feel 'safe' in a monetary sense. It's all becoming so real now. Do I take the dive or not.. *head explodes*
Note if I defer to MSc, I may get an extra two months worth of work on reduced pay - but some time to look for something.
Big decision and I think it may be tomorrow................ my heart is pounding...

Damn it - I wrote a huge piece of text but it got wiped out!
Anyway... at the start of the week I would have been adamant to change to an MSc. Now a week has gone by... and I finally got to speak to my girlfriend who is in Greece just now! We've agreed that a job down south wouldn't do either of us too many favours...! She realises how miserable I've been and tells me to take note! But she also thinks it may be a good idea to keep going until I find something else - not really an option. If I stick to this I cannot raise this quitting business again as it would reflect very poorly on myself. But I acknowledge her point - lack of income is definitely a huge concern. It's probably the main reason why I'd consider staying on - but is that enough of a reason!? The guys here are actually pretty cool about it all thankfully - though I have to make a decision soon. My girlfriend also tells me she'll support my decision no matter how poor it makes me :)
I just don't have the same level of interest as others - after this project is up I have two years to go and I can't see any great ideas coming out of it. I treat it more as a job than anything else - last thing I want to do at night is research. I want to be home by 6 and doing something else! I'm at work right now - at half past eight at night!! But then if I transfer to MSc, after two months I will have no job to go to, and there doesn't seem to be much in the area.
I'm at a total loss - from a financial perspective staying on would be the right thing to do. From a personal perspective, I might be better off trying something else - but we all need money to live..!
So confused right now.

It's been heard for me - I totally heed your point about being unemployed. I am totally stressing out about it! One can only hope that come September, I get lucky in securing a graduate job, else things will start to look sour.

Crikey, splitting up must have been awful :(
Sorry to hear about your troubles... I wont advise on anything, as I tend to sway towards the 'if you don't like it, quit' camp. Do what feels right :)