Overview of koka

Recent Posts

Feeling v incompetent and discouraged
K

Hi everyone,

I've just discovered this forum and hope to find some support/ideas from other PhD students who have either experienced what I am experiencing or have any idea how I can solve the issues I'm facing.

I started my PhD in philosophy in autumn 2016. I took great pleasure in working on it until about April this year, when I started writing up. Since then, things have not gone according to plan. As an undergrad and postgrad (until April), I worked a lot and usually finished my work before the deadlines. Since the beginning of August though, I have now been stuck in a very negative spiral. I started finding it difficult to write, but now I cannot even concentrate on articles or books, let alone analyse their contents. I am struggling with feelings of incompetence and feel extremely isolated as I work from home on a subject that is not easy to share (as most PhDs I am sure). I have been experiencing constant negative thinking: I cannot do this, I do not understand x, y z, I do not care, how will I ever get this done, I am dumb/stupid (how did I not realise this before?), I am no longer passionate (but was I ever?), what is the use of my PhD, other people understand my sources better (they should be working on them), I should do something else (but I am incapable of doing anything else). As I spend my days alone, there is nothing to stop this negative thinking. The stress is affecting my work (I cannot get myself to even skim through my sources at the moment), my memory (I cannot recall certain words and am distracted when I am with friends and family) and my social life, as I am isolating/excluding myself from social activities, convinced that the incompetence I feel regarding my PhD is actually general incompetence "in life".

I am desperate to get out of this but I do not know how to. Should I stop my PhD? Start teaching aside or do smthg else some days, with the risk of not meeting the deadlines? Should I take sick leave, but to do what?

Thanks so much for reading, any ideas are more than welcome.

Koka