welcome flutter!! yes we're all still active for duty!!!

good luck with your writing, and welcome to the forum and this accountability thread!!

dont worry about how long you've taken, cause i've taken an incredibly long number of years also submitting my thesis.

i'm using this thread to declare my aims everyday. and there are a few other members active aswell.

i'm currently preparing for my viva, which is on the 28th sept, so time is running out. :$

my aims for today is:
to answer 9 questions for chapter 6.

Hi Ruby, thank you so much for the support and everything you said, it really comforted me, I really appreciate it. It was exactly what i needed to hear. Thank you!
i like what you said, that subconsciously i know more than i think hehe. i will keep reminding myself of that!
and yes you're right, my life wont end and they wont actually execute me after the examination. lol imagine if they actually did that in an alternative parallel universe!

that's good advice, to just do as much as i can between now and then :)
---

Sue - thank you so much for the advice and support! you are so sweet, i really appreciate it. i loved what you wrote - you're right little chunks at a time! i didnt even think about other exams, thats a nice way to look at it :)
thank you Sue ! that's really good advice!
---

confession time, its the end of the working day for me. I am happy to report i reached the goal for today, which was to finish summarizing the last remaining 11 pages of my thesis. and today i have also reached another milestone which is that i have finished reading through my entire thesis and summarizing each page. i started this - end of june. took me a 2 months! i did it bit by bit. everyday did some pages no matter how few or how many pages. joan bolker is right. everyday is more important than how much you do. because it all adds up in the end. its like you cant eat all your food requirements in one day for one month. you gotta eat a little bit everyday. and you cant walk a mile by not taking each single step one at a time.

I will report back tomorrow with a brand new goal for tomorrow.

good luck for those that are still studying!

thanks guys for your support. and i completely agree with Ruby, declaring your goals publicly really does help! (up)

======= Date Modified 02 Sep 2009 19:46:00 =======
Hi everyone! It's lovely to see some activity in this thread. :)

@ Ruby - thanks alot for the advice. and good luck with the corrections!! It reminds me of last year around this time, we were all going through the hell of submitting and your talks of those detective shows and xfactor haha.

@ miss spacey. I LOVE dale carnegie! i'm a HUGE HUGE fan of ALL of his books. they are literally the bible/philosophy of my life. i've read them a few years ago and constantly read them here and there. thank you for the kind words you said, that really put a smile on my face. good luck with your final submission! you are so close to the finishing line, keep going.

well i still havent heard back from my supervisor, so i dont know who my examiners are. i dont know why he's being all secretive about it and not telling me who my examiners are :-( :$ i'll give it another week and then email him again.

i just had abit of a panic attack. a family friend called to wish me good luck and told me all the viva qs are in the book "how to survive your viva" which i have read. i picked up the book and had a skim through ,and i just completely panicked!! all those questions and the way you are meant to answer the questions and define and blah blah, left me thinking, omg i cannot do this. i dont know how to defend my thesis i dont know any of the answers. i got abit depressed and thought, i cant do this. i'm going to fail and my life is going to be over. and then another part of me thought, i just want this over and done with and i want my life back. i want to be able to just go through a day without the horrible phd cloud over my head. i cant wait for the day that however it may be that this phd is behind me, and i can breathe.

anyways so i thought i would come on here to calm myself down. and messages from ruby and miss spacey cheered me up :)

and its lovely to see a new member to the club. welcome Seamonkey! good luck with your thesis and thats awesome you're reading joan bolker!! and nice to see you sue :)

well i've already made a list of all the viva qs that are in the book. end of the week, i plan to tackle each qs in turn and just write an answer - to the best of my ability. and just keep reminding myself. all i can do is my best, and forget the rest.

so my accountability is to finish by tommorow -
finish reading chapter 6 of my thesis and make summary notes. (i have 11 pages left).
---

good luck Sue!! and Seamonkey! Ruby and Miss spacey
As Armendaf would say bring your battle faces!!:-s

I hope Armendaf is okay. I miss him. Good luck Armendaf!!(up)

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Hi Folks, I just recieved an email from my supervisor, informing me of my viva date, which is on the 28th september!!! :) truth be told, i'm actually happy and relieved! it was really hard living in limbo land and not knowing when my viva was going to be. i'm looking forward to getting it over and done with! and finding out what my examiners think of my thesis.

i'm going to make a proper plan now for the next month. i've emailed all my friends and have told them, i wont be seeing them, or accepting any invitations, and told them dont be suprised if you dont hear from me, i'm in jail lol. i'm going to lock myself in my study room. :)

one month is more than enough time. i've read my thesis like 3 times! summarised each chapter... i am not feeling stressed or anything. going to think positively. and whatever happens, happens, it wont be the end of the world. i'm just going to give it my best shot!!!

thanks everyone for their support throughout this limbo wait. i really appreciate it.:)

i'm going to finish summarising the last 2 chapters of my thesis. and then write out answers for potential viva questions.

i'm soooo glad i've been studying for the past months. even if it was just abit each day. as its really added up. everyday is definately more important! instead of telling yourself you gotta study 100 pages or study for 8 hours. because i had the mentality, of doing something at least ,each day. i managed to summarise most of my thesis - these past few months. im so glad i did that. cause if i started today. i would be panicked!

i have a clear idea of what i have left to do to prepare for my viva. now just gotta take it one step at a time....

Has anyone heard from or seen Armendaf? i wonder how he is. i hope he's okay. the last message he told us he was going to have his viva in a few weeks. i suppose he must be busy sorting out post viva stuff.

i hope we hear from him one day.

WOW congratulations! you are a complete super woman! well done . you must be so happy! you achieved so much!!! go on and treat yourself! you deserve it(up)

at the moment i am revising for my viva. believe me when i say this. i feel like i know nothing and that there are 100s of references i still need to read and understand. and that i am currently reading through my thesis for the 3rd time. its boring!! but i force myself. once i've summarised each page of my thesis. will then move onto viva questions.
but any day my sup can email me and tell me my viva date is next week. so i sometimes feel like i will never get all my revision done and be prepared for my viva and cant be bothered, and just want to do nothing. but then i think. what if my sup doesnt email me tommorow and tells me its next week , but infact its next month, so i better study, i still have time and to do as much as i can. even if its just one page in one full day.

"one day plus another has an accumulative effect" every little thing you do will add up in the end!

joan bolker "every day is more important than how much time you spend, or how many pages you produce or the quality"

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eatingelephants. i totally get what you're going through. i was in your shoes this time last year. and i know how horrible it is! i was near suicidal!! i just wanted it to all go away and for me to just run away from it. i wanted to chuck it all in aswelll. and give up and not finish writing my thesis cause i thought it was impossible. but my mom just kept telling me to do my best. and everyone around me just said. give it in, in any shape and form, just do your best.

just make it good enough and let the examiners decide!!!

it will never be perfect so dont even try to get it to be the way you want it to be. there are two thesis. one that is perfect in your mind and one that is written ! go for the later.

dont give up. you havent wasted 3 years of your life. you've done research , now you just have to compile it in your thesis. believe me, i totally understand how you feel. i feel like i've wasted 7 years of my life (i had 2 failed phd projects that were just disasterous and i had to start from scratch 3 times, it was only in the past 4 years that i was able to work on a project that proved fruitful. i should have quit long ago, but i kept at it. do i regret it? part of me, wishes i quit after the first year, when project 1 failed. but then if i had, than i would never have eventually moved onto my 3rd project which i developed with a visiting prof.. and from that i published 2 first author papers.

but after all these years, i am really petrified of failing at the viva stage. i still feel like i dont know anything about my subject, just know like 5%. but my mom keeps telling me it wont be the end of the world. and to do just my best. thats all we can do. is to try our best. as long as we can be satisfied with ourselves that we did our best, we can then live with ourselves.

DO NOT chuck it in , at the very end. you are soooooooooo close! you can do it. and what you're feeling is perfectly normal. joan bolker in her book writes that she has known students with just 5% i think left of the thesis left to write, wanting to quit and chuck it all in. those demons will get you. you just have to ignore it, and push through the pain barrier.

my motto is always, just a little bit, just a few minutes. when you coax yourself to do just a few minutes, you will find you get involved and continue with it.

keep at it EE. we are all with you, every step of the way.

make a list of all the things you need to do for your thesis (this is what i did. when i was nearing the end of my thesis. i had LOADS of things left to do- but i made a long list, and everyday did as many of them as i could and would tick them off.

just do it bit by bit.

i will leave you with a quote i still have hanging on my wall next to my monitor. when i wanted to quit.


"BURN THE BOATS

when ancient Greek armies travelled across the sea to do battle, the first thing they would do after landing, was to burn the boats, leaving them stranded. with no way to make it home besides victory. the resolve of the soldiers were strengthened. when sucess and failure are the only options you have no choice but to follow through"

congratulations!!! well done!

you deserve a well earned rest and some fun!!! (up)

======= Date Modified 31 Jul 2009 16:25:10 =======
Friday entry. reviewing the situation. 3 things that went really well for me from past 7 days

1. getting an email from the powers that be, telling me that my examiners for my viva have been confirmed.

2. getting to the cinema on time with just a couple of minutes to spare to watch The proposal. i had the best time! practically had the whole cinema to myself, except for 3 other people. the movie was great fun! really enjoyed myself.

3. being able to be there for my friend when she was discharged from the hospital.

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hi pineapple.

never apolagise for sharing your negative feelings! that's what this whole forum is about. sharing the ups as well as the downs. and i read in a book that writing out what is troubling you, is far more thereapeutic than simply talking about it. its the very act of writing it out that helps declutter your brain.

someone once told me, you shouldnt compare yourself to other phd students. we're all very different and working on different phd subjects. no two people are the same, and no two phds are the same, hence you cant compare yourself to other phders. what you gotta do, is compare yourself to the best version of you. do your best, and then let the cards fall either which way.

what i suggest is to focus on what you need to do, and not worry about how you are doing compared to other people.

i experience feelings of inadequancy on a daily basis !! i am plauged with negative thoughts about how i dont even deserve to have examiners examin my thesis and i dont deserve a viva, cause i know nothing and i'm the worst phd student in history. but the only thing that helps to push these negative things out, is to actively be engaged in something. so when im studying, i cant think two things at the same time. and so studying and learning helps to boost my confidence.

a friend once told me, the only way to feel confident, is by learning and increasing your knowledge.. and with that confidence naturally comes along.

and dont apolagise for sounding depressive. i would rather you write about your negative thoughts, instead of just bottling it up inside!

break up what you need to do in small steps and everyday do one of them, and tick them off!

for me, im currently summarising each page of my thesis. i had a checklist of 187 pages and next to each page number , an empty box for a tick, for a page done. when i started, i thought oh man never gonna get it done. but i've been chipping at it, everyday, some days i do like one page, other days 5-6 pags. my motto is a little bit is better than nothing. and everytime i see ticks on the page, it gives me the boost to keep going. i'm probably just under half done. it gets boring as hell sometimes. but i remind myself to do just one page and i get over the "i dont wanna read my thesis its boring" hurdle. lol

also psychologist found, if you just tell yourself to work on something for a few minutes. you will find yourself completing it or at least doing something constructive. procrastination is not wanting to start at all. but once you start something, your brain becomes anxious to want to finish it off.

so just say to yourself, just spend 2-3 minutes on something and you will find yourself getting into it.