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feel so inadequate...
N

Hi CloverCloud,

I agree with Piju. Don't blame yourself for your perceived failure to gel with your supervisor. I also wonder if your supervisor shares your perception? Perhaps they see things very differently? At the start of my PhD I just couldn't get on with one of my supervisors. Call it a personality clash, but I consistently felt that whatever I said in their presence was wrong. Consequently I became quite nervous around them and developed a severe case of foot-in-mouth syndrome (honestly, I dropped some real clangers and cringe looking back on some of our meetings). Fortunately, my relationship with my other supervisor has been fantastic and I really couldn't ask for more commitment and support. It's strange, you can't get on with everyone. This is true for all people and shouldn't be viewed as a failing on your part.

It sounds like you need a confidence boost, and nothing would work better than feeling you're making progress. With regard to the research question, I wonder what research have you've conducted so far and what, if any, conclusions you reached? It sounds a backward way of doing things, but my research question came out of results. In effect, I had certain answers before I knew what question I was asking. Moulding your reserach question around whatever results you observed or achieved sounds quite illogical, but who's to know you went about things this way? Once you get going you find that other questions and avenues of exploration become apparent. That may be no help at all, but it might pay to approach things this way. I assume you know broadly what subject you're researching. If so, it's really a case of narrowing your scope and closing off certain avenues of investigation. Try posting a few potential questions and perhaps a few forum members can help.

Serious dilemma
N

I'm inclined to agree with the last two posts. I don't think you can make it through the PhD without this problem raising its head; and at least if you're honest you'll appear more conscientious. The alternative is living with the fear this situation will damage your career, which will likely affect the quality of your research. I think from an administrative perspective the situation is perfectly salvagable; and I also think the university won't want a student to fail to complete that is already part way through the programme (of course, nobody on this forum can offer any guarantees).

I would arrange a meeting with supervisors, take a deep breath, and explain the circumstances. At least that way you'll know where you stand, even if the consequences are catastrophic (which would seem unlikely). Otherwise, you'll only have wasted more time researching if this all comes out later and it doesn't go down well.

Best of luck with it, but I think you'll be fine, especially if you're progressing nicely with you current work... (up)

Unofficial deadlines with supervisors
N

I'd agree, you really shouldn't worry about this; I'm sure if they'd wanted it by 12:00 this would have been stipulated. I think they'll simply be pleased you submitted work on the agreed date and happy you're making progress.

How high are you aiming?
N

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======= Date Modified 09 Dec 2010 16:28:52 =======
So PhD candidates are all perfectionists, then! Many comments on this thread chime with my own perspectives and experiences.

I attended my MA grad ceremony today and I'm the only candidate going on to a PhD. I was really pleased, when catching up with people, to learn that the recession hasn't hampered their search for work. Nearly everyone has found a job in the industry in some capacity.

One thing I would say is that, having worked for more than a decade before returning to higher education, it's easy to think the grass is greener in the real world. In my old job I often worked 50-60 hour weeks, felt perpetually stressed-out, and collapsed at weekends before dragging myself out of bed on Mondays with a stress-induced knot in my stomach and an overwhelming feeling of resentment. I haven't felt like that since returning to university.

I appreciate I'm an early-stage PhD researcher, but higher education hasn't proven as draining as full time work for me, at least so far. I'm already anxious about what I'll end up doing post-doc, however. Like many who have posted on this thread I'd love to be a perpetual student; as I'm sure an academic career demands greater rigour and commitment.

For now I've found shelter from corporate culture and every soul-destroying aspect of working life that made me feel so hollow. Higher education helped me escape; and I can't envision myself working in the corporate sector again! If that means I have to chase an academic post then so be it...

I'm happy doing my PhD
N

I'm only a few months into my PhD, so I can't detail my responses to the process over a protracted time period. However, having spent the entire first term feeling I'm making no progress, producing numerous rewrites of research proposals, and wondering if my sups were losing all faith in me, I feel I've finally turned a corner...

I had an extremely productive meeting yesterday and finally nailed down my research topic, methodology, and a theoretical framework for the thesis. I'm now working on a chapter draft with a much clearer sense of where it's all going. I'm far from ready to open the champagne, of course, but feel considerably more upbeat. I'm sure I will pass through phases of greater or lesser productivity and enthusiasm, but for now I feel I'm finally on track. In short, PhD life is good right now (if confronted with the same question a fortnight prior my response would have been different).

I think it's the nature of this kind of forum that people tend to post when frustrated and/or demoralised. Many threads perhaps don't provide a balanced view of PhD life as a consequence. Then again, I'm a newbie, so what do I know... ;-)

I am thinking of quitting
N

As I'm only a couple of months into my PhD, I'm probably not in the best position to hand out advice, but it sounds like you're trying to talk yourself into quitting. As you're funded, what happens if you drop out (are you required to pay back any fees as a consequence of non-completion)?

I wouldn't want to sway you one way or the other, but perhaps you should discuss your concerns with your supervisor(s). At least arm yourself with as much knowledge as possible before making a decision. If you're funded then your school/sups must believe you're capable of producing a good thesis. Perhaps you should explain that you want more explicit direction (I plan to discuss this with my sups tomorrow, as I don't even have a thesis topic at present).

Good luck with whatever you decide, but don't rush into anything you may regret.

Anxious already!
N

Thanks for both comments. I'm meeting my supervisors tomorrow, so I'll see what their feedback is. I'm hoping they don't ask me to produce another proposal and I can get on with things. It's a humanities PhD, just to clarify.

I don't know whether to speak to my supervisors about my anxieties? On the one hand, this could prove productive (if they offer suggestions rather than thinking: "it's your PhD, we don't want to interfere with your choice of topic"). One the other, I don't want to give the impression I'm struggling (which to an extent, I am). This probably all sounds somewhat naive for those of you much further through the process...

Anxious already!
N

Hi All.

I'm currently two months into my PhD and already I'm concerned. I never felt anxious during my undergrad degree and MA, but I can feel my anxiety levels escalating already.

I got a first on my BA, a distinction on my MA, and was accepted as a PhD student and awarded a full AHRC scholarship. All sounds promising, right?

My problem is that my uni didn't like my proposed PhD topic, but I was accepted and funded on the basis of my academic record. I had an horrific summer for personal/family reasons, but managed to submit the MA diss on time. I hoped to finish the diss early, which would have left time to contemplate a new PhD topic. Instead, I started the PhD not knowing what my topic was. My supervisors were perfectly accommodating (no complaints there) and asked me to produce a new proposal. A fortnight later I met with them again, and they asked that I work on the proposal some more. I did this, met with them a week later, and I was asked to produce another proposal. I've done this and forwarded it to them, but I'm not happy with it and feel like I'm scrambling to define a research topic that is viable and original.

Already I'm worried my supervisors are thinking they made a mistake with me (sometimes you intuitively know something). It's the impression I've got based on our meetings so far (as both seem far from impressed). I'm concerned that if this continues my scholarship will be in jeopardy and I'll have blown what is probably a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity (I doubt I'll be offered a full scholarship again if I fail here).

Am I simply being neurotic? Are these anxieties/processes normal at this early stage? If it's simply not happening is it logical to get out now? All advice is appreciated.